The secret to a good marriage | Marriage tips for a long-lasting bond

By Prapoorna M

Last Updated: January 11, 2023

Have you ever wondered why couples have been together for years and seem so happy even after many years? Have you thought that anything named love can make anyone lovable throughout life? Well, there is always another side. When the two sides are maintained and balanced, the track of the vehicle seems smooth. Hence it is essential to keep certain things in mind.
Here are some crucial points that need to be discussed regarding a happy marital life or a happy, long-lasting relationship.

Rose-tinted glasses will fall off.

Understanding that infatuation wears off and only understanding and deep friendship remains long. It can never be the case where only passion is enough. Passion, sexual interest, or lust wears off or might become less important as we age. Only love, concern, and affection stay and bind us together. So giving importance to deeper, genuine and intimate feelings is very important for each other. Being best friends for life can make you a happy couple altogether.

Couple holding hands - beginning of a relationship
Couple holding hands – beginning of a relationship

Be together in everything

A good couple makes plans together. As they think as one and believe their growth and happiness lie in each other’s support, they value each other’s opinions well. Hence making a plan together, even if it is a holiday trip or a business idea, a future house or having children, discussing together and coming to a mutually agreeable conclusion is highly important.

Giving is important

Love is all about making our loved ones happy and seeing them happy. It is not expecting something in return. You don’t do something because your partner will return the favour. You only do it because you want to see them happy. Love is about giving rather than receiving.

Also read: Effect of love and compassion in our life

Giving vs. Receiving in Love

ActionGiving (How it benefits the partner)Receiving (How it makes you feel)
Giving a complimentMakes the partner feel appreciated and boosts their self-esteem.Increases feelings of being valued and loved.
Listening activelyShows the partner they are valued and their opinions matter.Fosters a sense of being heard and understood.
Offering supportProvides emotional stability and reassurance during challenging times.Strengthens trust and reliance on the relationship.
Expressing gratitudeReinforces positive behavior and mutual respect in the relationship.Enhances feelings of accomplishment and being recognized.
Sharing choresEases the partner’s burden and promotes a sense of teamwork.Creates a sense of shared responsibility and partnership.
Planning a surpriseInjects excitement and shows thoughtfulness.Evokes joy and the feeling of being special and cherished.
Saying “I love you”Affirms your affection and commitment, reinforcing the relationship’s bond.Provides emotional security and deepens the love.

Have Empathy

It is common to face lows and mood variations in life. When your partner is low in mood or bad-tempered, understand the need behind it. If the partner cannot do something, try to extend help whichever they like. Simple sympathetic words won’t help anyway. Instead, such a sympathetic expression would feel so disgusting to them if the person has good self-respect. Hence show some empathy and support.

Have respect

Your words and speech also matter a lot. When you have differences and start arguing in front of others, it shows that you hold no respect for your relationship. Listening to the partner and understanding their perspective before concluding is important. Mutual respect is an integral part of a long-lasting relationship.

Use those words

Using the three famous words, Sorry, thank you, and please, is necessary for any relationship. Taking your partner for granted is never going to do any good. It symbolizes gratitude and mutual respect when you are polite in your expression. Of course, you can close, but communicating harshly can never mean closeness.

Let them know

Love and concern are to be always expressed. If you have so much affection in your heart but are hesitant to express it, it is useless. You might assume that they already knew it. But expressing it now and then makes a lot of difference. Just imagine the smile on her face when you gift her a bouquet of roses, just like that! Saying how much you love through your deeds, like being there when your partner needs the most and helping in finding something they miss or giving special attention to their things when they can’t check, can fetch you much.

Let them know you love them
Let them know you love them

Maintain an equal partnership

It is commonly said that both men and women are equal. But, most men have a feeling that they are a bit higher as they are physically stronger. While some women would also think they can easily gain control as they are emotionally better. Both are equally important for a family to run better. Imagine how great the future generation could be when you both are one.

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Address issues immediately

If you both have an argument and can’t come to a conclusion, don’t fight or stop talking. Try to put on paper why you think you are correct. If both of you do this, and after your emotions are cooled, you can understand each other’s perspectives better when you both exchange them and read. Most of the issues get resolved. However, you should never go to bed angry. Any issue must come to a logical end before you go to bed.

Read more on How to deal with lies in a Relationship?

Conflict Resolution Steps

1. Identify the IssueBegin by clearly stating the problem or disagreement without blame, focusing on your own feelings.
2. Listen to Each OtherEach partner takes turns to speak their perspective while the other listens without interrupting.
3. Acknowledge FeelingsRecognize and validate each other’s feelings, showing understanding and empathy.
4. Explore SolutionsDiscuss and propose solutions that address both partners’ needs and concerns.
5. Find a CompromiseNegotiate and agree on a solution that both partners can accept, even if it requires some compromise.
6. Implement the SolutionDecide on actionable steps to put the agreed solution into practice.
7. Follow UpCheck in with each other after some time to assess how the solution is working and make adjustments if necessary.

Never neglect Romance

Thinking that children are growing or if you are with your parents or in a joint family, if Romance and sex are kept on the back burner, you would never be cool. It is important to have good mental health for great physical strength. Sometimes, your sex health determines your confidence too. Having good sexual intimacy between you both can make that oneness even stronger.

Keep looking better

Some think they need not worry about their looks if they are married or committed. Most women neglect their looks after becoming a mother. For every person, it is important to maintain physical health, hygiene and beauty. Though inner beauty is highly important, outer beauty also matters when attracting your partner. Hence maintain your looks better.

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Never leave them unanswered.

Even when you are in a meeting or some urgent work, return the calls as immediately as you are free. It is important to answer the calls and messages sent by your partner. If not, that itself sends a message that you are neglecting them. They feel unimportant it harms your relationship.

Limit social media

You might have a lot of commitments and contacts where you would be busy on social media. But being available online all the time and unavailable offline for the family is not at all a good habit. It could damage your personal life. Both of you should limit your social media time.

Have an open communication with your partner
Have an open communication with your partner

Be a role model

Both the partners should be role models of your role as a partner or a parent. You should be able to strike a good balance between your personal as well as professional lives. After all, children learn from mimicking their parents.

Celebrate every success

It feels good to celebrate every small occasion with loved ones. For example, getting a hike or an appreciation at work can be celebrated with a small outing at a local restaurant or café. Such sweet memories are be cherished later.

Keep up with your vows

We all make marital vows or pledges when we start a relationship. These might sometimes not have legal proof, but our hearts and conscience know what we are up to. Being honest in every step of your life can make you live peacefully.

Have you “me” time

Just like spending time with your loved ones, having some personal time is equally important. Your quality me time can be spent practicing your favorite hobby or maybe just sitting idle or meditating. Anything of your choice, but some personal time, means a lot.

Balancing “Me” Time and “Us” Time

ActivityMe Time IdeasUs Time Ideas
Physical WellnessYoga, Solo running or gym sessionsJoint workout sessions, Couples yoga
Mental WellnessMeditation, Reading, JournalingMeditation classes together, Book club for two
Hobbies & InterestsPursuing personal hobbies (painting, coding)Learning a new skill together (cooking, dancing)
RelaxationSpa day alone, Long bathsSpa day together, Watching a movie under the stars
AdventureSolo travel to a nearby cityPlanning a vacation or a hiking trip together
SocializingSpending time with individual friendsHosting dinner parties or game nights as a couple
Learning & GrowthOnline courses or workshops in personal interest areasAttending seminars or workshops together
Spiritual PracticesPersonal meditation retreatsVisiting spiritual sites or practicing rituals together

Set boundaries

You need to set your boundaries even with your partner. Every person needs their personal space. The same applies to your partner as well. You should never forcibly enter that zone, nor should they have a healthy relationship. But, to do it, you need to accept them as they are. Give the value the person deserves and respect their privacy as you do yours.

Know more about on Why saying No in a Relationship is a Good thing?

Discuss vulnerabilities

Suppose you think you have certain vulnerabilities, which could be the sensitive trigger points that could raise your temper or hurt you badly. In that case, it is important to discuss them rather than thinking they already know. If you haven’t done that yet, please do so as not to see the doom day of your relationship.

Lastly, every step of the relationship is important when you express yourself and take others. This mutually acceptable and lovable bonding should keep going with open communication. It is your relationship, and you should both set the rules whether they obey the societal norms. Any relationship can sustain by giving and taking respect and concern all the way!

Also Read: How to deal with lies in a Relationship?


Maintaining a happy and long-lasting marriage requires effort, understanding, and mutual respect from both partners. It’s about moving beyond the initial infatuation and building a deeper connection that is based on friendship, empathy, and shared values. Couples should focus on open communication, addressing issues promptly, celebrating each other’s successes, and maintaining an equal partnership. It’s also crucial to keep the romance alive, limit social media distractions, and ensure both partners have their “me” time and respect each other’s boundaries. By following these tips and understanding the importance of giving, listening, and supporting each other through thick and thin, couples can build a strong foundation for a fulfilling relationship.

For those seeking further guidance and support on their journey to a healthier, happier marriage or relationship, WellnessHub offers a plethora of resources and expert advice. At WellnessHub, you can find articles, counseling services, and community support designed to help individuals and couples navigate the complexities of relationships with wellness in mind. Whether you’re looking to enhance communication with your partner, find balance in your personal and shared lives, or simply seek advice on maintaining the spark in your relationship, WellnessHub is there to support you every step of the way.

Frequently Asked Questions:

1. The Pillars of Success: Respect, Understanding, and Open Communication

At the heart of a successful marriage lies mutual respect, a deep understanding of each other’s needs and perspectives, and open, honest communication. This foundation allows you to address challenges promptly, celebrate wins together, and keep the romance alive. Remember, communication is a two-way street – active listening and empathy are crucial!

2. Keeping the Flame Alive: Maintaining Passion Over Time

Passion doesn’t just happen – it needs nurturing. Prioritize your sexual and emotional connection, continue to “date” each other regularly, and explore new experiences together. Don’t shy away from open communication about your desires and needs – honesty strengthens intimacy.

3. The Power of Words: Why Communication Matters

Effective communication is the lifeblood of any long-lasting relationship. It allows you to express your feelings, desires, and concerns openly and honestly. By truly listening and understanding each other’s perspectives, you can navigate conflicts constructively and strengthen your bond.

4. Walking in Their Shoes: The Importance of Empathy

Empathy allows you to step into your partner’s shoes, understand their feelings, and offer support when needed. This fosters a supportive environment where both partners feel valued and understood, strengthening the emotional connection and creating a safe space for vulnerability.

5. Partners, Not Rivals: Ensuring Equality in Your Relationship

Equality is key to a healthy marriage. Share responsibilities fairly, make decisions together, respect each other’s opinions and needs, and celebrate each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Remember, supporting each other’s personal growth and ambitions is essential for a truly equal partnership.

6. Navigating Bumpy Roads: Conflict Management Tips

Conflict is inevitable, but how you manage it makes all the difference. Practice active listening, express your feelings without blaming, and strive to understand your partner’s perspective. Work together to find mutually agreeable solutions, address issues promptly, and avoid going to bed angry. Remember, communication and respect are key!

7. Social Media: Double-Edged Sword for Couples

While social media can connect us, excessive use can negatively impact relationships. Set boundaries around social media use, prioritize face-to-face interactions, and ensure quality time together offline. Avoid comparing your relationship to others online – focus on nurturing your unique connection.

8. Me Time: Recharge and Reconnect

Having personal time is not selfish – it’s essential! It allows you to recharge, pursue individual interests, and maintain your identity. This, in turn, can enhance your relationship by bringing more balance and happiness into your lives together. Remember, a fulfilled individual makes a fulfilled partner.

9. Celebrate Your Journey: Strengthening Bonds Through Shared Successes

Celebrating successes, big or small, strengthens your bond by building a sense of teamwork and appreciation. Share a special meal, exchange thoughtful gifts, or simply spend quality time acknowledging your achievements together. Celebrating each other’s wins fosters a supportive and encouraging environment.

10. Vulnerability: The Key to Unlocking Deeper Connection

Discussing vulnerabilities might seem scary, but it’s the gateway to a deeper, more meaningful connection. Sharing your insecurities and sensitivities allows your partner to offer support and understanding, creating a safe space for intimacy and growth. Remember, vulnerability fosters trust and connection in the long run.

About the Author:

Prapoorna Mangalampalli

M.Sc., M.A., (Dual Masters in Psychology & English) – Counselor (6+ years of experience)

Prapoorna armed with a passionate dedication fueled by dual Master’s degrees in Psychology and English, Prapoorna sheds light on and elevates human experiences. Over 6+ years of experience fuel her insightful approach to counseling, offering profound empathy and guidance across diverse areas like online, marital, relationship, child, family, and career counseling.

At Wellness Hub, she thrives in a team environment that values innovation, compassion, and achieving results for their clients.

Connect with Prapoorna to learn how she can help you or your loved one find their voice and build a brighter future.

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