A famous and important quote says, “If you want a relationship that is most amazing thing on the Earth; you need to treat it like it is the most amazing thing on the Earth.” Any relationship on the Earth is sustained only till we behave properly. Once we start taking it for granted, it just stays as long as the other one bears. There will be testing times for any relationship. The real challenge lies in how you behave through such times. However, when you get the signs of problems being in a relationship and if you are unable to sort it out by yourself, it’s a better choice to take the help of a relationship expert to make the things better.

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Keep your relationship goals in mind, while being in any relationship. As you accepted to take it as your responsibility, live up to your word and fulfill the goals with all those terms and conditions. Be it a married relation, a live-in together relationship, a distant relationship, a friends with benefits kind or simple friendship between acquaintances, colleagues, neighbors, family friends or cousins whatever, any relationship flourishes when you value others and keep yourself open. Transparency, trust and consistency are really important between any two.

The most common things expected in any relationship to make it prosper are

  • Stay faithful in that relation
  • Make them feel wanted
  • Respect your partner
  • Make time for you both
  • Value each other’s opinions

 

Promises of Relationships

Every relationship has its limitations, terms and conditions. You can never take anything and anyone for granted and behave as you like. Like avoiding infidelity is a common expectation in marriage, trust is the foundation for any association. A bond gets stronger when the initial promises made are kept by respecting each other all through the way.

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If it’s a brother-sister relation, or with cousins the way you back each other during your tough times really matter. Be it a scolding from parent or helping an escape from a cop, every deed means something. An indirect way of hinting “we are together, whatever comes” is the way you keep up a relationship alive for years together.

Having a good co-ordination with the neighbors, family friends and colleagues at office etc. makes your day. Wishing your lift man a good day, smiling at your neighbor, greeting a little one may seem to be small things while they could bring a big difference in the mood of the people.

 

Friends with benefits

Having “Friends with benefits” kind of relationship is something like enjoying life with no commitment strings attached. People with FWB relation may or may not live together in a house, but their friendship levels are beyond boundaries. They usually go to any extent like having sex, trying anything fun and making out with others during their relationship too. They have no restrictions, possessiveness, commitments or rights on each other’s emotions or life. Either of them cannot have any control on the other. But both are bound to some ethically unwritten rules like not interfering with each other’s lives and not bothering like blackmailing or forcing for sex or gang bang like things, forcing to have drugs etc. It’s completely a nice mutual agreement that none of them will be into emotional attachments with each other and can stay for any days together or can leave whenever they like to.

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But even in such relationships, sometimes people can’t help falling in love with the other person, which could result in feeling possessed, craving more out of relationship, making emotional blackmails etc. to keep the person forever with them. These emotional vulnerabilities make the person too blunt from inside that nothing matters to them except to keep the person to themselves. For getting what they want, they would dare to go to any extent or would destroy everything for not letting the person go away. Some could choose inhumane acts like throwing acids or stabbing the person too.

The concept of live-in relationships or FWB relationships, purely pleasure-based relationships etc. have been rapidly occupying their place in the society these days. Whichever kind of relationship it could be, problems are inevitable. To solve them and live peacefully before the things get worse, it’s a brilliant step to take the help of a counsellor. Online counseling assures anonymity and confidentiality. If the client wishes not to show his/her face and doesn’t want to reveal identity and to discuss the problem alone, online counseling provides the way. Confidentiality regarding the problem discussed and the solutions offered are also maintained as per the rules of “International society for mental health online.”

What keeps a relationship intact?

When you hold sand in your hand, making a cup like shape, it stays. But when you try to hold it really hard by pressing your fist, it drops through the gaps between your fingers. This is how a relationship should be maintained. You should hold to an extent that your presence, attention, affection and love are felt by the other person. But if try to control, show possessiveness, behave stubbornly or restrict them the magic in your bondage slips away.

It is often said that “Relationships aren’t great because they have no problems, it’s because both people care about each other to find a way to make it work.” No two people are same. Differences are common between any persons. But learning to accept them and valuing the opinion of others makes any relationship great. But whenever the situations get tough and throw a googly, adding to the miscommunications and false interpretations, while ego being the factor that won’t let you take a forward step, putting the relations at stake, both of you need to work to build a bridge.  Here comes the need of a counselor who could voice your thoughts and make you realize the pattern you are dealing with. Even through online counseling, without any prejudice and assumptions, a better counselor can guide you through those tough times.

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The differences between persons once found endearing, may irk you after certain period. There could be gradual disintegration of communication and caring. When two persons from entirely different worlds, start staying together, they could encounter numerous issues where anything to everything could be a problem for the other. Insecurity problems could also arise because of the recent changes in physical appearances, varied customs and traditions of both being different, attitude difference etc. If the ability to handle the differences is lost, if things started to get worst between you, it’s a great idea to see a relationship counsellor. Any relationship flourishes on trust and good communication. Be it a relation between a boy and a girl, or between two boys or girls.

What is the need of counselling?

It is very common for every human being to discuss a personal problem with the friends or family or any trusted person whom they would like to seek a solution from. But if such ways didn’t work, it’s the time for seeking a professional help. A professional psychological counsellor is the one who has no prejudice on the client issues and who provides a genuine help by protecting the anonymity of the client.

“I started experiencing difficulties conversing with my neighboring ladies, missing eye-contacts but staring inappropriately. When I noticed that I’m going beyond my control, I thought that I must see an expert to help me out of this, as my dignity is at its stake. I’m happy that I took a right decision. The therapy here not only helped me with this superficial thing, but it cleared all my underlying defects redefining my thinking. In this process, I have realized that my unfulfilled underlying desires are finding a way out. I thank my counselor for guiding me to be absolutely fine!!” says a happy middle-aged man from a reputed family.

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“Terms with my boyfriend started to get worse, when I first got the thought of meeting a psychologist. Hesitantly, I booked an appointment for an online counseling. She listened everything very patiently, with any prejudice and understood being in my shoes. Then she slowly made me realize my thinking pattern, which I regretted. I have apologized to my boyfriend as immediate as possible and made our relationship even stronger to take it to next level. Thanks for my online mentor.” a young lady expresses her gratitude.

Issues are common everywhere. But they get hardened when neglected. When you cannot break the barrier of hesitation to consult a right person for your personal help, understand that you are travelling in a wrecked ship. Stop worrying about the problems and start seeking the solution. Is your partner not so encouraging seeking a professional help? It’s okay. You can connect with our experts for help taking a step forward, which could help you out of most percent of the problem. With the online counseling therapy, you can connect with your psychologist from a remote place without any inhibitions. As anonymity and security of information is guaranteed, online counseling would be your bosom friend.

 


Santhoshini Datla

I have a post graduate degree in Applied Psychology followed by 4yrs of clinical experience in Indian Naval Hospital Kalyani and NHS United Kingdom. In the last few years, I have been delivering evidence based Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for depression, anxiety and other stress related psychological issues. Psychological well-being is not just mere absence of mental illness but also having good quality of life. There are days when we all feel down, demotivated and lost which is absolutely normal. But if it goes on for a significant period of time and starts affecting your daily life then that it when we need professional help. In psychological therapy I would be helping in making sense of why you feel the way you feel, facilitate you to make better healthier choices, help you learn to think in a way thats more helpful for your mental health and with an overall aim of making clients more independent so much so that they are confident of dealing with challenging situations in the future themselves.

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