Relation Between Sex and Success in Marriage | In What Ways does Sexual Intimacy Contribute to Marriage?

By Prapoorna M

Last Updated: November 27, 2021

An appreciable quote says, “Marriage is not a noun, it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get, it’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner, everyday.” When there is no action, no emotion, no caring or no friendship in a marriage, then what’s left there? Married couples can together undergo a lot of troubles but their marriage itself should never be a trouble for them. Having close intimacy between the partners, caring for each other’s emotions rather than just a say, sharing their feelings and thoughts, being with each other and making the marriage meaningful are the essential ingredients of a successful marriage.

An intimate moment between a couple
An intimate moment between a couple

Sex in marriage is both an accessory and a necessity. That physical intimacy between a pair compromises any kind of differences in opinions or arguments they hold between them. The relationship in a couple becomes stronger in longer term, when sexual intimacy is added. Being in a sexless marriage is like trying to be calm and composed though thousand voices are screaming in your head.

Why is Sex important in a Marriage?

Can you make a Dum Biryani without those spices? How about a dessert without sugar or a cupcake without icing? Yes, sex in a marital life has that much importance. As it was put by John Eldredge, in his Love and War, “Sex can be such a stark barometer for a marriage.” There might be some marriages with minimal while some with no sexual intimacy. But for a long-lasting happy marriage, at least an amount of moderate physical intimacy is a must. Sex-less marriage creates frustration in one or both the partners and leaves you in a state of loneliness.

Only the person undergoing the pain can understand that feeling of an intense scream from within while trying not to blame or hurt their partner. Though it doesn’t depend upon the frequency or the abundance, the more it happens, the greater the bond enhances and the better you both would feel. Many sexual activities are considered taboo in our society and they come with an element of shame or guilt. But pleasuring the partner is an art, though done in many ways.

Benefits of Marital Sex

BenefitDescriptionImpact on Marriage
Improved Emotional Well-beingEngaging in regular sexual activity boosts mood and reduces stress and anxiety.Leads to happier, more content relationships with fewer instances of conflict and greater resilience to stress.
Physical Health BenefitsSexual activity increases heart rate and promotes physical fitness, while also boosting the immune system.Couples enjoy better health together, potentially leading to longer, more active lives shared with one another.
Enhanced Emotional BondingSex strengthens the emotional connection between partners, fostering a deeper sense of intimacy and mutual understanding.Fosters a stronger, more secure relationship foundation, enhancing mutual satisfaction and long-term commitment.

What Could be the Reasons?

There could be number of reasons starting from health issues to reduction in emotional connectivity that could result in low libido in your partner. In case the emotional decline takes place, the sexual activity could also decline. Sometimes in your relationships, when it is found that your spouse is having an affair out of marriage or any happenings that relate to mistrust take place, then there is a possibility that the sexual intimacy could also go down.

However, having emotional connection and the existence of great sex-drive between the couple, could make their marriage last longer. Such a couple can be together in all the problems, dealing with the issues that come between them and could strengthen the family roots. In case you are having issues, please don’t hesitate to consult a marital expert to make things smooth between you and your spouse.

Read more on our article Lack of Sexual intimacy in Relationships

How to Make things fall in place?

In order to make the relationship better and to enjoy the real meaning of a marriage, you should make it work. Take initiative to make some changes to brighten your marital life.

Know more about the Marital Bliss: How to Make Your Marital Life Blissful?

Create time to emotionally connect with your partner

In these busy days and digital-age, it is of course, tough to take time for yourself. But when you and your life is not a concern, what else could you do earning all the time? It is high time you spend some time with each other and share those cherished moments of your early interaction. Have a fond talk with sweet nothings, holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes. Play a board game together, or watch a movie with popcorn in hand, to enjoy some ‘we’ time.

Give importance to self-care and be attractive

Make sure you look good and smell great. Groom yourself and dress up to your partner’s taste. You may say it with your dress that you are interested in being with him/her all your life. Try to have a makeover, change your hairstyle and give yourself an appealing look. Work out to reduce that extra fat on your tummy that could make you look older than you actually are!

Resolve your conflicts

Having conflicts and misunderstandings in mind, nobody can behave heartfully. Sit and talk on those issues. Take time to resolve your issues as immediately as possible. Don’t let conflict make sex a symptom. When such tensions and severe stress exist in between both of you, real sex is a dream to happen. Hence resolve it all before going to bed.

Be Mindful

Mindfulness in any activity would deliver great results, and so as in having pleasure. Your partner values your complete attention over the roses or the delicious meal. Pay attention to all the details like how they feel, what they think and what they are saying and try to be more intimate. Have more eye-contact and physical touch. Being in present and being mindful, helps you to revive your bond both physically and emotionally.
Spend at least 20-30mins with each other, without any kind of distractions like Mobile phones, TV, Kids or Friends or Something else. Plan and get ready for that “we” time. Make sure you smell good and look interested.

Strategies for Improving Sexual Intimacy

StrategyDescriptionHow to Implement
Communicate OpenlyDiscuss your needs, desires, and concerns with your partner without judgment or criticism.Initiate conversations in a comfortable and private setting, ensuring both partners feel safe and heard.
Prioritize ‘Us’ TimeSet aside dedicated time regularly to connect with your partner without distractions.Schedule regular dates or quiet time together, marking it as important as any other appointment.
Seek Professional HelpConsult a therapist or counselor who specializes in marital and sexual issues to address and overcome intimacy challenges.Research and choose a reputable professional or service like WellnessHub, and be open to attending sessions together.

Read about the Better ways to communicate in relationships

What are the Benefits of Marital Sex?

Though sex is significant in marriage, a marriage can be sustained without sex. But, marital sexuality can be a supremely healing experience for body, mind and soul. Benefits of having sex with a trusted and reliable partner are endless. The release of essential hormones that play an important role in your emotional well-being, makes it a wonderful experience for you.

Sex has anti-aging benefits associated with it. Having sex releases anti-inflammatory molecules in our body, that aid the repair works in our body. Boosting the repair process can eventually slow down the aging process resulting in youthful looking body. Some may opt for watching porn while being under a sexless marriage. But it is beneficial in many ways if you can work on making things better between you both.

Also Read about the Essential Guide to Relationship Counselling

What happens while having sex

Rather than watching porn, if you can have real sex, there are a numerous benefits that happen to our body, apart from the physical benefits that you are already aware of. The release of certain hormones in your brain helps you in many ways. Let’s just have a glimpse of those hormones that get released during intercourse.

  • Dopamine is released creating a state of tension and focus
  • Norepinephrine is released creating alertness
  • During Orgasm – oxytocin and vasopressin are released, creating an emotional bond with the person or the object causing arousal.
  • Opiates are released getting you a sense of euphoria and release
  • Then serotonin is released after climax, creating a sense of calmness, well-being and satisfaction.

So, all these hormones help you involve in a completely pleasurable journey, refreshing you to the core. Are you facing a lot of stress out there? Make some naughty plans to get yourself active, naturally.

What happens in a sex-starved marriage?

A sex-starved marriage is one in which one spouse is desperately longing for more touch, more closeness and more physical affection while the other spouse could feel like, “What’s the big deal? It’s just sex”. But for the spouse yearning for more sex, more touch and more physical attachment, it is a
huge deal. The longing for wanting to be loved, to be cared for and to feel the sense of belongingness, attracting his/her partner, feeling that masculinity/feminine is really a need.

When those cravings had to meet with unresponsiveness repeatedly, over a period of time, then that openness and vulnerability in the spouse will turn into anger and contempt, which spills over all the aspects of the relationship between them. Such a sex-less marriage would slowly lead to major disconnection. The couple would no longer sit together and talk freely and happily.

They would avoid each other’s presence. No healthy conversations take place. Though they try to play jokes, they both would end up leaving sarcastic remarks on each other which further affects the relationship. When they can’t share a hearty laugh, can’t have some comfort time and can’t be friends anymore, then their marriage is surely at stake. This could lead to divorce or infidelity in marriage.

Know more about 5 Signs that your marriage is falling apart

What it takes for a Successful Marriage?

Success of a marriage hinges on factors like trust, respect, forgiveness, compassion etc. But, all these factors are tied together with that physical intimacy. Though you have a low libido, trying to make your partner pleasurable would lead to some positive energy and you could also get into mood when things start to spice up. Such an act would leave you both satisfied.

Couple sleeping without interest in each other
Couple sleeping without interest in each other

Sex is a significant aspect of marriage that partners share with each other but not with others. Proper communication can always help in improving your sex life. Discuss where you would like to be touched, what arouses you and all. Sex brings out the elements like togetherness, compassion, empathy, intimacy and deep understanding in partners.

Are you having a troubled marriage? Are you trying to be happy or finding out the reasons why marriage is not working for you and your partner? Come to us to have your problems solved. Our team of marital experts is here to offer you some wise advice. You may also contact our therapists online to have an online marital counseling. You can make an instant call or book an appointment, now.

Know more about the The secret to a good marriage | Marriage tips for a long-lasting bond


In the intricate dance of marriage, sexual intimacy and emotional connection play pivotal roles, acting as both the foundation and the pillars that sustain the relationship. This article underscores the crucial nature of physical closeness as a medium of love and a bridge over troubled waters, offering couples a way to reconcile differences, strengthen bonds, and share in the joy of mutual understanding. Yet, it also acknowledges the myriad challenges that can dampen the flame of intimacy, from health issues to emotional disconnections, and emphasizes the necessity of communication, self-care, and mutual effort in rekindling this vital aspect of marital life.

Recognizing these challenges, WellnessHub emerges as a beacon of hope for couples seeking to navigate the complexities of marital intimacy and connection. With its comprehensive array of resources, from expert counseling to tailored advice and support, WellnessHub stands as a testament to the importance of professional guidance in achieving a fulfilling and successful marriage. It offers a platform where couples can find the tools and insights needed to address their concerns, enhance their relationship, and embark on a journey of renewed intimacy and love. In the quest for a thriving marital bond, WellnessHub represents a crucial ally, empowering couples to unlock the full potential of their partnership.

Frequently Asked Questions:

1. Why is sexual intimacy important in a marriage?

Sexual intimacy is crucial in a marriage because it strengthens the emotional bond between partners, helps resolve conflicts, and enhances overall marital satisfaction. It acts as a physical expression of love and commitment, fostering a deeper connection and understanding.

2. Can a marriage survive without sexual intimacy?

While a marriage can technically survive without sexual intimacy, the lack thereof often leads to frustration, loneliness, and a weakened emotional connection. For a truly fulfilling and successful marriage, maintaining a healthy level of physical closeness is important.

3. What are the benefits of sexual intimacy in marriage?

Benefits of sexual intimacy include improved emotional well-being, increased physical health, enhanced emotional bonding, and a stronger marital relationship. It also serves as a natural stress reliever and contributes to a happier, more satisfied life together.

4. How can couples improve sexual intimacy in their marriage?

Couples can improve sexual intimacy by communicating openly about their desires, scheduling regular ‘intimacy time’, focusing on emotional connection, seeking professional advice from platforms like WellnessHub, and addressing any underlying issues such as health concerns or emotional disconnect.

5. What role does WellnessHub play in enhancing marital relationships?

WellnessHub plays a pivotal role in enhancing marital relationships by offering access to marital experts, counseling services, and a wealth of resources aimed at improving emotional and sexual intimacy. It provides a supportive environment for couples to learn, grow, and overcome challenges in their marriage.

6. How can couples address a lack of sexual intimacy?

Couples can address a lack of sexual intimacy by first identifying the root causes, whether they be emotional, physical, or psychological. Engaging in open and honest communication, seeking professional counseling, and making a mutual effort to reconnect both emotionally and physically are key steps.

7. What impact does a sex-starved marriage have on partners?

A sex-starved marriage can lead to significant emotional distress, including feelings of rejection, loneliness, and inadequacy. Over time, it may result in resentment, communication breakdowns, and a decreased sense of partnership, potentially threatening the marriage’s stability.

8. What strategies can help overcome emotional barriers to sexual intimacy in marriage?

Overcoming emotional barriers to sexual intimacy involves creating a safe, open space for communication, practicing empathy and understanding towards each other’s feelings, and possibly seeking professional guidance. Engaging in activities that rebuild emotional intimacy, such as date nights, shared hobbies, or couples therapy, can also help.

9. How does regular sexual intimacy benefit long-term marital satisfaction?

Regular sexual intimacy benefits long-term marital satisfaction by maintaining a physical and emotional connection between partners, reducing stress, and promoting happiness and contentment in the relationship. It serves as a reminder of the love and attraction that initially brought the couple together, helping to keep the relationship vibrant and resilient over the years.

10. What practical steps can couples take to reignite passion and intimacy in their relationship through WellnessHub?

Couples looking to reignite passion and intimacy can utilize WellnessHub’s comprehensive suite of services, including couples’ workshops, personalized counseling sessions, and interactive webinars focused on enhancing intimacy. Practical steps include scheduling regular sessions with marital therapists to address specific concerns, participating in activities designed to improve emotional closeness, and accessing resources on effective communication and sexual health.

About the Author:

Prapoorna, M.Sc., M.A., (Dual Masters in Psychology & English) – Counselor (6+ years of experience)
Prapoorna armed with a passionate dedication fueled by dual Master’s degrees in Psychology and English, Prapoorna sheds light on and elevates human experiences. Over 6+ years of experience fuel her insightful approach to counseling, offering profound empathy and guidance across diverse areas like online, marital, relationship, child, family, and career counseling. This dedication to empowering positive change is further underscored by her specialized training in various counseling sectors.
Currently, at Wellness Hub, she thrives in a team environment that values innovation, compassion, and achieving results for their clients.
Connect with Prapoorna to learn more about how she can help you or your loved one find their voice and build a brighter future.

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