Signs that you are not ready for a relationship | Premarital Advice

By Prapoorna M

Last Updated: November 27, 2021

In this awry world of competition and rat race, relationships have lost its meaning somewhere for many. Relationship has become a common place existence of extreme struggle and strain accompanied by lack of bonding and trustfulness. It is not that everyone is of the same opinion but many are equipped with the idea that things may not work out fine on the home front. It is not bad to love oneself unconditionally. A relationship that is good is hard to find these days. You may have come to the opinion that you are not ready for a relationship or you might not necessarily be ready to find the ‘’perfect one’’, fall in love or even go on a date.

Girl confused about the relationship
Girl confused about the relationship

If these are the things that you’re feeling on the top then definitely you’re not yet ready for a relationship:

Your content with yourself

At times you may feel that you are well equipped with yourself and that satisfies you mentally. You are not at the need to be in a relationship or ready to be in a codependent arena, you can stay single as ever. A relationship is something which fulfills our emotional needs and gives us fulfillment in life, but if you are able to get that satisfaction with yourself there is no need to dive into a relationship. If being single is what makes you happy then there is no need for a relation.

You don’t want to be in a relationship

The reasons to come at this conclusion may vary from being in a bad relationship to being a spectator of such a relationship; if you don’t want to be in a relationship then don’t. If you know yourself and not willing to be in a relationship then there is no need to be in one. You may like a person, but if you can’t give your 100% to the relationship or you don’t feel as though a relationship is possible at the moment, then don’t commit yourself. Never involve in a relation bending for social pressures, keep in mind that you’re not alone if you want to be single. Skip the dating game as of now till your gut says otherwise.

A relationship is last on your social agenda

When you have so much to do on your list then it is better not to focus on dating. For the survival of any relationship, one needs to spend time towards it if your timetable is strictly hectic with work, you might not have the energy and time to work your relationship. So better not date under such circumstances. Sometimes we ignore the fact that we are not able to give priority to the relationship we enter into it. It would just make your significant other in the relationship suffer. If you can give enough attention and affection to a relationship then wait until you have enough space on your to-do list to devote to your partner.

Key Relationship Values and Their Importance

TrustFoundation of reliability and safety in the relationship.
RespectMutual respect is crucial for maintaining dignity and equality.
LoyaltyEssential for ensuring commitment and fidelity.
UnderstandingKey to empathy and compassion, facilitating deeper connections.
CommunicationNecessary for clarity, conflict resolution, and emotional connection.
CompromiseImportant for resolving differences and fostering harmony.
SupportVital for emotional and practical backing through life’s challenges.
IndependenceCrucial for personal growth and preventing dependency.

You are not happy with yourself

When you’re not happy with yourself how can anyone else be happy being with you? When we can’t love yourself there is no way you can love others. If you want to work out on your relationship, you need to work-out on your insecurities first so that your self-esteem doesn’t take a toll on your relationship. If there is a need to work on you at the most, then spend as much time on it to love yourself and being happy with yourself.

You aren’t a good communicator

Communication is the first and foremost aspect of any relationship. Communication is never easy, especially in a relationship which is filled with so many feelings and emotions that are to be conveyed as much as we breathe. It is not easy for everyone to get their point out and feel heard and understood. Venting out the feelings is often perceived as criticism in a relationship if not used with proper words. So if you don’t feel like a good communicator, then focus on improving your learning and growing aspects of communication.

Also Read: Better ways to communicate in relationships

Man trying to communicate with his girlfriend
Man trying to communicate with his girlfriend

Ghosts of the past hover over you

If you’re constantly holding back to your past relationship thoughts then it is not the time to enter a new relationship. Everyone has a past story and dealing with the breakup takes times. Getting over a past relationship often takes long periods even if got dumped or after they dumped somebody. Many times people enter into new relationships to get over the past ones but doing so, can only cause regret to the new person that got involved. Until and unless you get out of the past relation completely; never jump into a new one.

Read more: Rebuilding Trust In Relationship

You’re not sure of the person

We may feel that it is love at first sight or something other to get swept away with what feels like love, but those feelings are not always accurate. You may have those intense feelings in the beginning but they do not last in the time-run. So never make moves instantly. Never rush into a relationship if you’re not sure of your feelings or the person. It is not so tough to get to know the right person. When you really fall into love, you will know it and if you meet the right person you will know it.

Staunch ego is your middle name

If you are the person who is staunchly egoistical then entering a relationship is a bad idea. It is better to remain single when you don’t have the ability to change or modify. In a relationship to run on a smooth course, it is required to make some compromises and changes to the ways of partners, but if your encompassing ego is predominantly effective there is no place for peacefulness in a relationship.
Many relationships fail because of this being a stubborn phenomenon. If you don’t want to make any changes or compromises in your relationship, then don’t bother entering a relationship,

You’re too Independent

When you’re too independent then getting into a relationship would become hectic for your mind. Even though you like the person, you feel obligated to inform your whereabouts each time or vice-versa; you feel obligated to meet the person every evening; you feel as if your freedom is being taken away by this new relationship, then you are not supposed to be in the relationship. You just love yourself and your freedom more than anything else; then you aren’t ready for a relationship.

Feeling pressurized

You just want to have a relationship for the sake of family and friends. Then it’s a No. Never commit yourself for the sake of others, it only leads to disappointments and regrets in life. Entering a relationship solely to quell the fear of being alone and silence other people’s voices most likely won’t lead to a lasting, serious relationship. Whatever stage you may feel that you are in, keep in mind that you are not ready for a relationship. A relationship is to be cherished well and not supposed to feel obligated. A person may get hurt in the dilemma, so know yourself well before starting a relationship.

Know more: Feeling stressed in your relationships? Tips to handle

Comparing Relationship Readiness: Now vs. Future

CriteriaNowFutureAction Steps
Contentment with SelfSomewhat contentFully contentPractice self-care and explore personal interests
Open to CompromiseRarely open to compromiseOften open to compromiseEngage in discussions that require finding common ground
Communication SkillsAverageGoodTake communication workshops or read books on effective communication
Handling Past BaggageStill affectedCompletely resolvedSeek therapy or counseling if needed to work through past issues
Willingness to Share LifeSomewhat willingVery willingParticipate in community activities or shared interests groups
Emotional AvailabilityPartially availableFully availablePractice mindfulness and emotional expression exercises


Navigating the path to a relationship demands a deep understanding of oneself and one’s readiness to engage in such a commitment. If you find contentment in solitude, prioritize your independence, or if the ghosts of past relationships still haunt you, it may signal that you’re not yet prepared to embark on a new romantic journey. Relationships require time, effort, and a willingness to communicate and compromise, qualities that must be nurtured and ready before diving into the complexities of intimacy. Recognizing and respecting these signs can save both you and potential partners from the strain and disappointment of a relationship embarked upon prematurely.

Moreover, the importance of a wellness hub cannot be overstated in this context. A wellness hub offers the tools and support needed to foster self-love, happiness, and effective communication skills—essential foundations for any healthy relationship. It encourages individuals to work on their insecurities and personal growth, ensuring that when they do decide to enter a relationship, they are doing so from a place of strength and self-assuredness. In a world where relationships can often be seen as the ultimate goal, remembering the value of personal well-being and readiness is crucial. A wellness hub serves as a reminder that the journey to a fulfilling relationship starts with a healthy and happy individual.

Frequently Asked Questions:

1. What are the signs I’m not ready for a relationship?

Understanding the signs you’re not ready for a relationship, such as contentment with being single, reluctance to commit, prioritizing personal goals, unresolved past relationships, and a strong sense of independence, can help you make informed decisions about entering new relationships.

2. Why is personal happiness important before starting a relationship?

Personal happiness and self-love are foundational for healthy relationships. They ensure that you enter a relationship for the right reasons, not out of loneliness or pressure, and contribute to a healthier, more fulfilling partnership.

3. How does being a good communicator affect relationships?

Effective communication is crucial in relationships as it ensures that both partners feel heard, understood, and valued. It helps in resolving conflicts, expressing needs, and building a stronger emotional connection.

4. What should I do if I’m still affected by my past relationship?

If past relationships still impact you, taking time to heal, understand what went wrong, and learn from those experiences can be beneficial. It might also be helpful to seek support from a wellness hub or a professional to work through these issues.

5. Why is it important to be sure about your feelings before entering a relationship?

Being sure about your feelings helps avoid confusion and ensures that you’re entering a relationship with clarity and genuine interest. It reduces the chances of hurting yourself and others and lays a stronger foundation for a lasting relationship.

6. Can being too independent be a hindrance to starting a relationship?

While independence is a valuable quality, extreme independence might hinder the development of a relationship by creating barriers to intimacy and shared experiences. Finding a balance between independence and partnership is key.

7. Why should I not enter a relationship under social pressure?

Entering a relationship due to social pressure or to avoid loneliness can lead to dissatisfaction and regret. It’s important to enter a relationship for the right reasons—mutual affection, respect, and readiness for commitment.

8. What role does a wellness hub play in preparing for a relationship?

A wellness hub provides resources, support, and guidance for personal growth, self-love, and happiness. It helps individuals become more emotionally and mentally prepared for healthy, fulfilling relationships.

9. How does self-esteem affect my readiness for a relationship?

Self-esteem directly influences your readiness for a relationship as it affects how you perceive yourself and interact with others. High self-esteem enables you to enter relationships with confidence and assertiveness, ensuring you can establish healthy boundaries and engage in mutual respect. Conversely, low self-esteem might lead to dependency or tolerating unhealthy behaviors, indicating a need for personal development before pursuing a relationship.

10. What steps can I take to become more communicative before entering a relationship?

Improving your communication skills involves practicing active listening, expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly, and learning to handle conflicts constructively. Engaging in workshops, reading books on effective communication, and even seeking therapy can enhance your ability to connect and communicate in relationships. Practicing empathy and understanding different perspectives also play a crucial role in becoming a better communicator.

About the Author:

Prapoorna Mangalampalli

M.Sc., M.A., (Dual Masters in Psychology & English) – Counselor (6+ years of experience)

Prapoorna armed with a passionate dedication fueled by dual Master’s degrees in Psychology and English, Prapoorna sheds light on and elevates human experiences. Over 6+ years of experience fuel her insightful approach to counseling, offering profound empathy and guidance across diverse areas like online, marital, relationship, child, family, and career counseling.

At Wellness Hub, she thrives in a team environment that values innovation, compassion, and achieving results for their clients.

Connect with Prapoorna to learn how she can help you or your loved one find their voice and build a brighter future.

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