How to Overcome Infidelity in Marriage? | What if you found them guilty?

By Prapoorna M

Last Updated: November 27, 2021

If Marriage is a building, trust is its foundation!! Well, every marriage goes through a lot. Troubles, issues, consequences of some decisions, financial turmoil etc., anything can be dealt with when that continuous support of your spouse is there with you. But when that very spouse is being the source of your pain, it becomes hard to bear.

Are You Feeling Lustful?

If it is you or your spouse, started to bear feelings for that someone else, try to understand that body needs are not being satiated. Both of you need to spend some personal time. Plan a vacation as immediate as possible and spend some steamy times together. Bring those honeymoon days back into your life and have some fun out of this boring life.

If you are stuck up in an unavoidable situation like unable to time spend some private time, at least do some cuddling or virtual romance like sending nice texts to him/her showing your interest. This might ignite your spouse and you would know what’s hiding in his/her thoughts till then about spending that lone time with you.

A Couple having an intimate relationship
A Couple having an intimate relationship

Be Strict to Yourself

It is all in your hands that you ruin your world for some momentary pleasures or you work hard to build your own romantic empire. Be patient and strict enough to yourself and say no to those poisonous looks and seductive talks. These days, social media has been a business. It just engulfs your time and kills your personal life if you can allot enough attention.

Remember that digital life is for business, while personal life is just lived. Pouring down your heart your heart on social media might fetch you some similar experiences to read but exposing your personal life could always be a threat to you and your family.

What if you feel fishy?

Speak up!!! Yes, of course. Have a personal talk with your spouse if you feel that something is fishy. There’s no need to spy on him/her. Just look straight into the eyes and ask. Observe their immediate reaction if it is a remorse or indifference. By this you would know if he/she is really bothered about it. If you find some confusion or benign look, understand that you need to get some clarity if it is really that kind of affair or it’s you who is on the doubting side.

Either way, the other one needs to explain on this. Seek a complete and clear explanation. Meet that friend of your husband/wife in person and have a formal talk to introduce yourself in order to have a comfort feel in your mind.

What leads to Adultery?

  • Adultery is irrespective of gender and marital status. When we say this, it means moving out of a relationship. An affair should be defined considering the bondage between them. Such affairs are formed due to various reasons like
  • Just for the thrill of achieve something (to prove his masculinity; beauty, in case of women)
  • To meet a challenge which have been posed in his mind since long / by someone else
  • Meeting some unmet dreams / expectations
  • Could be provoked by the opposite gender / loss of self control etc. etc.

Every person tries to mask the conscience with some excuse. For example,

  • I’m not caught, so it’s okay
  • I’m comfortable doing this
  • I feel pleasure found nowhere else
  • Relationship with spouse is not so healthy
  • Spouse is not so cooperative or encouraging
  • Taking revenge on spouse for mistreating
  • I’m not having a satisfying relationship at home etc. etc.

As long as a person can rationalize the thoughts and provides a comfortable explanation to his/her deeds, such relationships are maintained. To break such a thing, a strong realization should occur.

What If You Find Them Guilty?

Please don’t jump to conclusions or just go by the vague details. It is really painful to imagine that the person whom you trust the most is the one that cheated you utterly. Having a feel of hit by a ton of hard rocks, you must be thrashing on him/her verbally.

Please try to have a clear idea of their intentions while doing that act. Was it an accident? Was it because of the overconfidence that they couldn’t be caught? Or was it a pure lust that lasted for only that period of time? Get a complete understanding of their mind and then sit to have a calm talk. Be ready to face any kind of words or expressions. Have a talk with your spouse about the causes of infidelity.

If you think that this has out-grown and you cannot simply solve it or if you are unable to pacify yourself, please consult a psychologist. It is always better to talk to a therapist whenever we undergo some emotional turmoil. When things churn us deeply, we should take a professional help to come out of that deep ditch. You may also opt for an online marital counseling to help you make your decisions.

How does Online Marital counseling help you?

Couples generally come to counselling when they realize that their relationship is in some kind of trouble. Sometimes the problem is so significant, or has been left unattended for so long, that the relationship is already in severe crisis. At other times, the couples become aware at an earlier stage that they are not able to resolve their problems on their own, and that they need the help of a relationship counsellor before their relationship hits crisis point and heads to dissolution.

A couple having Marital counselling
A couple having Marital counselling

It is always about your comfortable place and mood to open up and pour your heart out, when dealing with relationships. Online marital counseling offers you a great chance for opening up without coming down to office. You may turn off the video if you wish not to be seen.

Online marriage counselling is highly beneficial when

  • When both the husband and wife are at different locations at the time of counselling and want to participate in the session.
  • When the couple at a far off place want to connect with the counsellor remotely.
  • When the couple doesn’t want to see each other but want to participate in the counselling.
  • If you want to join any other persons from family who needs to be involved, in the session, while them being at a far off distance.

So it’s all about your convenience and comfort. Be open when you really want the best results. Book an appointment, today.