What is important in a relationship? 10 factors that make or break!

By Prapoorna M

Last Updated: November 23, 2022

You would already have an idea about your partner’s qualities and how your life should be in the coming future. Being with your partner, having a happy time, planning everything together and working towards a better future can make your relationship meaningful. To make such relationships last longer, you need to know what is important in a relationship so that you don’t miss that out!

Everything in a relationship is about balance. The couple should be able to strike a balance between commitments and adjustments, between fusion and freedom, and between autonomy and exploration. Suppose this balance is maintained properly, without hurting each other and expecting much from each other. In that case, a relationship is like a haven from which both can explore the world.

There’s Love. Isn’t it enough?

Most couples think there should be no issues between them as they love each other. They often wonder if the love has gone as they have issues after some days. Not at all. It seems like the intimacy, love, care, and concern that were there in the initial days of a relationship gets faded away, but it might have just gone underground. Though love is present between couples, they have issues and petty quarrels about something or the other when some important things are not taken care of in a relationship.

So, what is the key to a happy relationship, ideally, to last a lifetime? Will they last long? Yes, of course! It is evident from many marriages that have lasted for more than 50 years in this world that prove us so. Though no one-size-fits-all formula makes every relationship last long and stay happy, there are some crucial areas. These little things need some care because they make all the difference.

10 Important factors of a relationship

Oliver and Diana have been in a relationship for a year. They spent a lot of time together, petting and caring for each other, having steamy nights, cooking dinner together, and celebrating each day. But as the honeymoon period faded and the naughty rose-coloured glasses fell off, they gradually started to sense the daily hiccups that needed attention. While the breakfast preparations and household chores disturbed their morning routines, the bills, business meetings, and busy schedules made their days fly. The tired evenings demanded more effort to make dinner, and cleaning the sink and clearing the trash were also big burdens. Weekends were much awaited, only to find some time to sleep and relax.

Both careers are at crucial stages and require good effort. Oliver had to be more cautious about the work as he was expecting a promotion. Diana started working on improving her business to resist the competition. Both had busy schedules and needed the other person to understand, cooperate, and support them.

A couple holding hands
A couple holding hands

Meanwhile, they did not understand what made their relationship struggle. Did you? Well, let’s try to get some ideas.

While the demands of life are too high, Oliver and Diana prepare themselves and run after the time. But how about their relationship? When did they give some time to it? Yes, of course, every relationship needs maintenance. Here are some tips to help your relationship last longer and stay stronger.

Smooth & Open communication

Communication is the key to happy relationships. Talking openly to each other, addressing the issues, and having open conversations where you can welcome suggestions are great paths to happy relationships. There should be no place for ego while discussing such issues. The quality of a relationship is improved when couples resolve the issues proactively. Among couples, it is common that only one person talks, and the other listens. But being always a speaker or a listener doesn’t help any of you. There should be an open dialogue, and both should equally be allowed to express their opinions.

Open communication from the start of a relationship helps build a strong connection. Suppose conflicts in difficult situations are not resolved but smolder beneath the surface for a long time. In that case, it can eventually be too late. Suppose such problems are left unaddressed and unanswered for a long time. In that case, they can result in dissatisfaction and loss of trust, leading to an affair or breakup. If addressing a problem and clarifying them are both possible in a smooth conversation, a stable relationship is only possible. Both partners should regularly talk about each other’s well-being, which helps promote the emotional connection between them.

Belongingness & displaying it organically.

The belongingness between couples should not turn into possessiveness. It is important to feel belongingness towards each other and to take an interest in the well-being of each other. But, heavy possessive feelings can lead to suffocation. In such cases, a partner cannot tolerate it if the other person speaks closely to a third person. It would result in conflicts, and they might end up hurting or harming each other.

Recognition & Reward

Both partners should recognize each other’s worth and value the care, love, and affection their partner offers. Taking them for granted would result in devaluing the relationship. Recognize your partner’s effort in the relationship and reward them with more love and care.

If your partner has mastered some burdensome task, thank and appreciate your heart fully. Sometimes, you can surprise them by gifting what they love the most. Once in a while, you can plan a holiday like

  • Mountain hike
  • Waterfall view
  • Adventure travel
  • Surfing or rafting
  • Cycling together

Anything from long drives to hiking that involves you two can be a great way to spend time together. Make it a point to heartily celebrate every important occasion of your relationship. Celebrate togetherness.

Take & Allow Space

Even if it feels great to be a team doing many things together, sometimes it is even better to take an off. In other words, you both would need some personal freedom from each other and have some “me time”. Maintaining your activities, hobbies, and friendships is important to feeling balanced. These gaps would give you space to miss your partner and have a story to tell each other when you meet again. Never think that taking a break would ruin the relationship. Just having some personal time, going out with friends, or maybe having a vacation without a partner doesn’t mean the end of your relationship. If this balance is not maintained, it can lead to a symbiosis of both partners.

Though both are in a relationship, you are still independent with your life goals and interests. Forceful suppression of such thoughts or ideas would make your partner disappointed with you. It makes them unhappy, leading to a relationship crisis. So, it is necessary to recognize the need for your partner’s freedom.

What is important in a relationship? 10 factors that make or break
What is important in a relationship? 10 factors that make or break

Honesty & Commitment

It is common to have disagreements and arguments between two people. But the essence lies in how you deal with it. In some couples, issues arise between them, but instead of solving they divert the issue. Unfortunately, the issue still lies there and leads to disinterest in each other. They slowly part ways, seeking pleasure and relief outside marriage or relationship. Such an attitude of escaping instead of solving would lead to major relationship cracks. Infidelity should never enter relationships. If that happens, both partners must sit and discuss because a lack of commitment towards solving the issues can lead to infidelity in relationships.

Relationships are based on mutual trust. If the trust is lost, everything is lost. Honesty is the cornerstone of any relationship. Both partners should be honest and committed towards their partners. Showing attention towards each other, not taking the other for granted, and showing your partner that they are your priority, can highly reduce the chances of infidelity.

Trust & Togetherness

Imagine how cool it would be to relax happily even when there’s a huge problem. The trust of togetherness gives this calmness inside the storm. When you both are a strong team that can deal with anything, the relationship gets stronger than any storm. For example, if you face an issue in society or due to some stranger, the support that you get from your partner helps you face it and get back to normal. It could be even a simple teasing incident or maybe a serious threat. Having the back of your buddy makes you stronger.

Common values & interests

Have a heartfelt conversation every day. It could be a warm good morning conversation at the coffee or a “how’s your day” conversation at the dinner table. Share your common interests and ideas to discuss something you would do in future. Plan and have a holiday at least twice a year. Enjoying common interests and respecting differences is the basis for a long-lasting relationship. It is important to accept that every person differs from others, and it is their right to deny what they don’t like. But, to strengthen your relationship, it is necessary to focus on what you have in common rather than the differences.

Acceptance & Forgiveness

In every happy relationship, conflicts, mistakes, and arguments can also occur. In every couple, misunderstandings or the repetition of old habits can irritate the partner. Though you feel like discipline is important in life, forgiving your partner after a fight is equally important. Every argument has some unwise actions and words that hurt. If your partner makes some thoughtless remarks and mistakes in the heat, forgive them. It helps you both to grow as a great couple. The most important requirement is that both want the relationship and are willing to work on themselves.

Discussions & Arguments

Discussions indicate an exchange of knowledge and, during arguments, an exchange of ignorance. Sometimes, it so happens that a discussion on a petty issue would lead to major arguments that would create cracks in relationships. But it has to be understood that whenever emotions creep in and discussions turn into arguments, there are unresolved issues. It is good to address such issues immediately. Discussing something related to the such conflict could trigger an unpleasant emotion, leading to an argument.

Hence it is important to notice if your discussions often turn into arguments. In such cases, it is good to take professional help before it is too late. A relationship counsellor can help to tackle such issues.

Romance & Sex

Last but not least! Sex and romance play a major role in couple relationships. If the sexual needs of a couple are not met, they will show up in various pathetic ways. The relationship will get highly affected if they neglect the sexual issues. There could be many issues, such as premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, or low libido in men, while mood swings, arousal issues, orgasmic disorder, or sexual pain issues in women. But every problem has a solution, and that needs to be addressed.                                                           

                            

A couple angry with each other at bed
A couple angry with each other at bed

Having a hot intimate relationship is very usual at the start of a relationship. But after a certain time, the desire slowly diminishes. Both partners must discuss and try different methods and have some closeness. Even though sex is not the core of a relationship, it helps in binding. The intimacy and closeness between couples contribute to a happy and stable relationship. It doesn’t always have to be sex. Physical closeness, such as tender touches, is important to show affection towards your partner. To be frank, any kind of disagreements or disturbances, if present, should be completely resolved before going to bed. A peaceful mind is a must for a peaceful sleep.

Over time, it is common to change opinions and ideas about many things. We would face new hurdles in daily life, whether about our child’s studies, career-related issues, or maybe some situational or financial problems. You and your partner will not always be on the same wavelength. But success lies in sticking together even in severe crises and stressful relationship phases and overcoming all obstacles.

Looking for some professional help? Please book an appointment with an expert relationship counsellor today.