Is Marriage Counseling Right to Go through?

By Prapoorna M

Last Updated: November 27, 2021

“Breaking up is hard to do” but staying together can be just as challenging. The number of couples seeking counseling has increased in recent years as the stigma surrounding the practice of counseling has faded. And it’s not only women who are consulting for a therapist these days. Men, too, are increasingly seeking outside help to relieve their anxieties and stress in coping with relationships.

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A couple undergoing Marriage Counselling

Is Marriage Counseling right to go through?

Marriage counseling can be an effective way to mend a broken and stressed relationship, experts say, but only if people get into sessions of counseling before the damage is too extensive to repair. Many people wait until it’s too late. Go to marriage counseling when you still don’t want the divorce. Go while there’s still glue there.

These signs lead the way:

  • Your fights are getting out of control: If you’re not willing to invite your children to pull up a chair and watch your fight, that’s a good sign you can use some help and counsel.

Also read: Anger management in Adults | Controlling Anger

  • Fighting is healthy, but only when it is done constructively: Couples counseling can help people change their arguing style so they can resolve their problems in a less hurtful way, setting a more positive example for their children. And it can help couples without children improve their behavior around family and friends.
  • You encounter the same stumbling blocks day after day: When couples find themselves rehashing the same issue over and over again bickering over the division of chores, say, or fighting overspending habits it may be time to consider outside intervention.
  • Repeated fights can corrode trust and a couple’s connection: While counseling may not eliminate the problem, it can minimize the problem’s effect on the relationship.
  • You feel you are slowly drifting away from your partner: While constant fighting often signals that it’s time to get help, a notable lack of confrontation can also be cause for concern. In those cases, people can find themselves slowly growing apart from their partner. Some even begin to entertain the idea of pursuing other sexual relationships.
  • The low-conflict, drifting-apart marriage is in great danger of divorce, when there’s that emptiness. People are prone to two kinds of crisis in such situations, one is seeking an external affair and the other is somebody’s midlife crisis.

Know more: Signs that You Need to Meet a Marriage Counsellor

In most cases, it’s the counselor’s job to draw a relationship for the concerns of the partners, eventually closing the emotional gap between them. The truth is, in marriage, the things that frighten us the most are usually the most important things to say to strengthen the relationship. Often, we just don’t know how to say it in a gentle and constructive way.

Finding the right counselor for you: If you’ve decided couples counseling is the best move for you, the next step is to find the right therapist, which can prove difficult. Although 80 percent of therapists in private practice offer couples therapy, few have taken a single class in couples therapy or have completed an internship with someone who has mastered the art, according to a national survey by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.

Couples shouldn’t feel shy about calling a few counselors and evaluating them on the phone, experts say. And once couples find someone, they should be willing to try another therapist if progress isn’t being made.

If a therapist seems to lack structure, favors one person more than the other, or allows fights to get out of hand, consider looking elsewhere, experts say. However, couples should have patience with their counselor and not expect a miracle overnight. Within three sessions, a couple should have a new perspective on something helpful or a way to handle something that’s helpful. If in three sessions, the couple isn’t getting value, change the therapist.

A Couple taking Marital Counselling
A Couple taking Marital Counselling

Types of Marriage Counseling vs. Situations Best Suited

Types of Marriage CounselingSituations Best Suited
Traditional Couples TherapyGeneral relationship issues, communication problems
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)Emotional disconnection, trust issues
Gottman MethodConflict resolution, enhancing intimacy
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)Behavioral issues, negative thinking patterns
Narrative TherapyIndividual stories affecting the relationship
Solution-Focused TherapySpecific, goal-oriented issues
Imago Relationship TherapyHealing childhood wounds, understanding partner
Premarital CounselingCouples planning to marry, setting expectations
Online CounselingAccessibility issues, long-distance relationships
Group Couples TherapyLearning from other couples, communal support

Read more: How to Find the Right Marriage Counsellor?

Outcome of Marriage Counseling

You can’t create a flourishing relationship by only fixing what’s wrong. But, it would be a great start. Love, responsibility, caring, and affection only diminish when self-interest dominates. If you don’t know what you feel in the important areas of your relationship, then the maturity of understanding hasn’t reached a level where the building of a relationship would be stable.

Getting to the bottom of the problem means acceptance to understand how complex the situation is for being in a relationship, always without being judgmental and trustworthy. If neither of you would move the boat the relationship would eventually drift away in the storm.

Three motivational words to govern sustained effort in the relationship:

  • Avoid pain or discomfort
  • Be a better person
  • Create more benefits

Couples should be able to cooperate enough to set up a home together and raise a family, they soon begin to support each other through the necessary changes to their relationship. For this reason, couple counseling often needs fewer sessions than one-to-one work. Next, it soon becomes clear that a couple counselor’s responsibility is to the relationship and both of you will get equal time, attention, and understanding. On a deeper level, couple work avoids the victimized attitude which encourages people to dig deeper into their worldview.

If you can get over the hump of entering relationship therapy, the rewards are often much greater. In many cases, couples get an immediate short-term boost. This is partly down to a sense of relief that something is finally being done, but mainly because our partner agreeing to this ordeal is concrete proof that she or he cares.

One of the biggest factors in the success of marriage counseling is the counselor. Almost every counselor in the world says that they do marriage counseling, but most never received any training. Often, they get a degree in psychology or therapy and feel that they can do it. Marriage counseling isn’t just one person and his or her issues. It’s two people, their issues, and the interaction and dynamics of those issues.

Marriage counseling isn’t just counseling- it’s a learned skill that requires a specialist. It’s important to choose a therapist who has experience working with couples and who is a good fit for both you and your partner. If both partners don’t feel comfortable with the therapist, this can negatively impact progress; or one person may prematurely drop out.

From the outcome of the marriage counseling, John Gottman’s research looks into happy couples for the solutions, because, couples who are in individual aspect happy have the independence in handling the disagreements because of the foundation of affection and responsibility. He has even discovered that all couples at some point in time have conflicts, but couples who are happy have much better chances of solving the problems, rather than couples who are unhappy because they do not have such type of skill set to maintain a relationship.

Generally, marriage and relationship researchers suggest that the goal of counseling for the couple should be to change the patterns of interaction, emotional connection, and support for each other and the communication between the couple. Are you doubting mind if you should consult a marital counselor or marriage therapy expert or maybe a divorce counselor? We are here to help you.

You may connect yourself to a counselor for a free instant talk to see if you need to connect with a marital counselor. So now you may go ahead only when you feel that you should. Call now to make sure. Call instantly or book an appointment, today.

Marriage Counseling Topics vs. Expected Outcomes

Topics AddressedExpected Outcomes
Communication BreakdownEnhanced Understanding and Improved Communication Skills
Financial DisagreementsBalanced Financial Planning and Conflict Resolution
Intimacy IssuesRenewed Intimacy and Strengthened Emotional Connection
Parenting ConflictsCooperative Parenting Strategies and Family Harmony
Trust IssuesRebuilding Trust and Mutual Respect
Emotional DistanceEmotional Reconnection and Increased Affection
Conflict ResolutionEffective Conflict Management and Reduced Arguments
Decision MakingJoint Decision-Making Skills and Aligned Goals
Role ExpectationsClarified Roles and Expectations within the Relationship
Life TransitionsNavigating Life Changes Together with Support and Understanding

Explore more: Better ways to communicate in relationships


Marriage counseling stands as a vital intervention for couples facing difficulties, advocating for timely professional guidance to prevent irreversible damage to relationships. This article highlights the benefits of counseling in resolving conflicts, overcoming repetitive issues, and fostering emotional closeness between partners. It emphasizes the necessity of selecting a therapist with specialized training in couples therapy, who can offer a neutral space for both partners to express themselves and work towards mutual understanding and healing. The role of effective communication and the willingness to engage in the process are underscored as key to navigating through challenges and strengthening the bonds of marriage.

The Wellness Hub is presented as an essential support system for couples considering counseling, underscoring the importance of addressing relationship issues within a nurturing and non-judgmental environment. It encourages individuals to seek help as a proactive measure towards enhancing their relationship, focusing on building a foundation of love, respect, and understanding. Through the support of the Wellness Hub, couples are reminded that counseling is not just about fixing problems but about enriching their partnership, laying the groundwork for a more connected and satisfying union.

Frequently Asked Questions:

1. What is Marriage Counseling?

Marriage counseling, also known as couples therapy, is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on helping couples of all types explore, recognize, and resolve conflicts in an effort to improve their relationship. Through counseling, couples can make thoughtful decisions about rebuilding their relationship or going their separate ways. It involves both partners sitting with a trained therapist to discuss their thoughts and feelings.

2. When Should Couples Consider Marriage Counseling?

Couples should consider seeking marriage counseling when they cannot resolve conflicts on their own, feel dissatisfied with their relationship, or experience a sense of emotional detachment from each other. Early intervention, before disputes become deeply entrenched, is often more effective, allowing for a better chance at reconciliation and improvement.

3. How Important is Finding the Right Therapist for Marriage Counseling?

The success of marriage counseling significantly hinges on the compatibility between the couple and the therapist. An experienced therapist in couples therapy can provide the necessary guidance and techniques tailored to the couple’s specific issues, ensuring a balanced and unbiased approach to healing the relationship.

4. Can Marriage Counseling Prevent Divorce?

Marriage counseling has the potential to prevent divorce by offering couples the tools to communicate better, negotiate differences, solve problems together, and even argue in a healthier way. While it’s not a cure-all, it can dramatically reduce the likelihood of divorce if both partners are committed to the process.

5. What Role Does the Wellness Hub Play in Marriage Counseling?

The Wellness Hub serves as a critical resource for couples considering counseling by providing access to qualified therapists and valuable information about maintaining healthy relationships. It supports couples in making informed decisions about engaging in therapy and offers a platform for finding the right help in a non-judgmental environment.

6. Is Marriage Counseling Effective for All Couples?

The effectiveness of marriage counseling varies based on factors such as the couple’s willingness to change, the timing of counseling, and the specific challenges being faced. While it is beneficial for many, its success also depends on both partners being open to the process and fully participating.

7. How Can Couples Prepare for Marriage Counseling?

Preparation for marriage counseling includes setting realistic expectations, being prepared to discuss and reflect on the relationship’s issues, and being open to change and new perspectives. Couples should approach therapy with honesty, an open mind, and a commitment to actively work on the relationship both in and out of sessions.

8. What Common Topics Are Addressed in Marriage Counseling?

Common topics in marriage counseling include communication issues, financial disagreements, infidelity, sexual dissatisfaction, parenting conflicts, and differences in values or life goals. The therapy sessions aim to address these issues by fostering understanding and collaboration between partners.

9. What Common Topics Are Addressed in Marriage Counseling?

Common topics in marriage counseling include communication issues, financial disagreements, infidelity, sexual dissatisfaction, parenting conflicts, and differences in values or life goals. The therapy sessions aim to address these issues by fostering understanding and collaboration between partners.

10. How Long Does Marriage Counseling Typically Last?

The duration of marriage counseling varies depending on the depth of the issues and the couple’s progress. Some couples may see improvements in a few sessions, while others may need longer-term therapy spanning several months. Typically, a therapy plan is personalized to each couple’s specific needs.

About the Author:

Prapoorna Mangalampalli

M.Sc., M.A., (Dual Masters in Psychology & English) – Counselor (6+ years of experience)

Prapoorna armed with a passionate dedication fueled by dual Master’s degrees in Psychology and English, Prapoorna sheds light on and elevates human experiences. Over 6+ years of experience fuel her insightful approach to counseling, offering profound empathy and guidance across diverse areas like online, marital, relationship, child, family, and career counseling.

At Wellness Hub, she thrives in a team environment that values innovation, compassion, and achieving results for their clients.

Connect with Prapoorna to learn how she can help you or your loved one find their voice and build a brighter future.

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