Advice for Newlyweds | Tips to a great marriage

Marriage is the bond of togetherness and lifelong companionship. Both should work to make it work, really better. When you’re newlywed, everything seems to be merry and bright, colorful and light. But, for some of you, these initial days could leave perplexed at everything and it takes time for you to adjust with one another. To be frank, the first year of your marriage is always a learning and transitional period. This seems like a roller coaster of fun and frustration. But this is when you’ll learn to adjust in your life and to give importance to the necessary things.

Don’t worry that your confusion could ruin it all. Here is a list of tips for you to make your marital life more meaningful. Understand and apply them in your marital life for a great married life.

Respect the differences

First of all, understand that you both have many differences in your life style as you are from different backgrounds and brought-ups. Members of a family, friends in a group, or even the fingers of your hand are not alike. Hence, learn the differences and respect them to live peacefully.

Wish Each other

Start every morning with a smile, kissing and wishing a good morning. Make it a habit that you wish each other. Say nice things while they leave home. This makes their day and it is really important.

Communicate Well

Communication and trust are as important as commitment. Marriage is a life-long commitment and to maintain that, you need to have a good communication between you both. The way how you communicate with your spouse and how you allow them to get decided in this first year of marriage only. Hence, make sure that you communicate your needs, wants, and your dislikes too, in a nice way.

Never go to bed angry

In case you had an argument or conflict in mind, speak to your spouse on that. Never leave a conflict unresolved. Try to bring it to a point like drawing a temporary solution before the day end

Don’t let others poke in

In view of your marriage, everything that relates only to you both should be between you and you both should decide. Never let any others to poke in between. Even if this has to involve your parents, talk to them and understand the things. Deal with your parents and let not your spouse handle alone. You should always be a bridge so as not to allow any conflict between them and should make things smoother. This reduces a huge burden on your spouse

No New Changes

Marriage itself is a big change in life and both of you will try to adjust to all those new amendments. So, don’t try to bring any other changes like shifting house, changing jobs, joining new religious congregations etc., within six months. This could disturb your peace.

Financial Issues

Maintain transparency over financial issues. Discuss with each other on the income and expenditure of the family. Plan everything including the savings. Taking loans from your in-laws triggers conflicts between you both and builds low opinions. So, never go for that. Both should consider working, not only to keep the wolf away, but also to earn some financial independency and to maintain that self respect. A combined financial success always helps.

Plan and Get that

Plan big for your future and career goals. Both should work on them collectively, be with each other and help each other to achieve your dream goals.

Parenting

Enter parenthood only when you both got adjusted and well acquainted with each other as a couple. Bringing a child into this world, takes a lot. Prepare yourself well enough before you take that big decision.

Share the load

You can show that you care, when you share the load such as washing the laundry, cleaning the utensils, dusting the house, and try cooking etc., without leaving it to your spouse completely. Such ways of expressing your love, means a lot.

Discuss before Decisions

Always discuss on making decisions. Never make a decision on your own without the consent of your spouse, and think you’re surprising him/her. This would lead to a big trouble. Remember, Surprises are simple things like gifting a bouquet or planning a dinner, but not big decisions like buying a car or house, or like giving up a job or aborting pregnancy.

The ‘We’ Time

Give the “we time” to each other. The precious gift you could give someone is your time, which never comes back. Keep your phones and other gadgets away and be with each other for some time, daily. This is highly important, at least till kids show up. Then you both will eventually plan to have some
personal time, together.

Keep it Hot

Keep that intimacy ignited, always. That’s what makes you a couple and keeps away the conflicts between you both. Put off everything and keep your mind relaxed and focused while enjoying those special moments of being together.

Never for Granted

Don’t take your partner for granted. This could bring some negligence over the other, going further. Keep in mind why you started this journey together. Treat each other like it’s a privilege to be married to
each other.

Respect their borders

Every person maintains some boundaries with the other. Respect the boundaries that your spouse specifies and never try to cross them. This is an essential thing that every couple needs to follow.

Give and Take Respect

Treat each other with respect, especially in public. The way how you treat your partner, reflects on how you are. Though it’s not a harmless banter, those hurt feelings are inescapable.

Be logical and Rational

Keep the discussions logical and rational. Don’t let everything turn into an argument. Focus on the solutions rather than the shortcomings. In case, you are going into an argument and things are getting hotter, cool it off with a laugh or admit that you give up. Quitting doesn’t always mean you’re lost.

Be There

Stand for each other, no matter what. You both are a pair and let the rest of the world stand against you. There are many couples who stand by others and let others come between them. Don’t be that person. Remember that you both are a team and always maintain that.

Be Sensible

Understand each other through different scenarios. Keep your eyes on the horizon but don’t trip over your feet. Have long term relationship goals and let that bond be intact. Selfless love is the most meaningful way to express love towards each other. Remember that everyone needs praise and encouragement for each other. Have a date night every week and dance together. Observe the elders who are married for several years and understand the positive qualities in them that keep their married life fruitful. Have reasonable and realistic marriage expectations and make them come true.

In case you both are having unresolved issues and if trying that, results in arguments, take a step towards couple counseling to make your relationship better by improving your communication. Seeking help from an expert would help you in many ways throughout your marital life. Book an appointment with our expert and trained professional counselors to make your marriage more meaningful.