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Relationship tips: Are you wasting your time with the wrong person?

Relationship tips: Are you wasting time on him?

Relationships are pretty interesting. The initial days of a relationship are exciting and give you a new feel entirely. You both might already have many sweet memories, have travelled together, have had fun, maybe moved in together and had sex a few times too. But when you think on a serious note about marriage or starting a family, some questions would still linger, “Is he (or she) the person I want to have in my life forever?”, “Are we made for each other” “Will we be happy together?” or “Are we Mr and Mrs Right for each other?”

Well, to be frank, you already have the answer somewhere inside, but to trust your intuition, you need some clarity. Sounds true? Superb! You have landed on the right page. 

Why do you need to know this?

We live in a busy world where everyone is packed up with lots of dreams and ideas about their future and their hands full of many things to do. Amidst all this, we need a reliable and strong relationship that supports us through our journey. Such a relationship gives us sound mental strength, like a strong family. But, in reality, a one-night stand is easier to get rather than getting a committed partner for a lifetime. Unfortunately, this is what today’s generation is facing. Irrespective of gender, everybody has to think twice before making a bigger step in life.

Is he the right person for me?
Is he the right person for me?

You need to know if he is the right person or if she is your perfect partner to not waste time investing your emotions in them. When you get close to a person, it is common to develop feelings for them. But if you want to have a life with them, having feelings alone is not sufficient. You must find the compatibility factor that can bind you together for years. If there aren’t enough factors that can make your relationship stronger with time, it is no wonder that the relationship would turn into a nightmare for both.

Signs that indicate you need to think again

So, you need to know if you can plan a future with this person. Yes, of course, you have been together and don’t want to cheat or abandon your partner. But it is not about that. Till now, your relationship has had no serious attunement. But how far can you go like this? It’s high time you need to decide.

To decide, try to get an idea of how your partner views your relationship.

You don’t get an answer.

Whenever you discuss the future of your relationship with your partner, you don’t get a clear-cut answer. Don’t stress it further because you fear the probable outcome. You would wait for your partner to speak on the matter rather than pushing them, but that day would never come. If this is the case, you must decide before it costs you.

You can’t be yourself.

He is so nice and handsome, but there is some inconvenience. He talks about his career, job, desires, and dreams. You don’t find time to share yours. He seems so self-centric, and you try to match your style according to his preferences. You unknowingly carry the burden of making the atmosphere comfortable for him. You need to pretend like someone else, but not like how you are at home. If this is happening, you need to stop wasting time.

Your relationship drains you!

Your relationship seems like it needs a lot of effort to keep up. You work on it, try to make things clear between you, have open communication, and invest your emotions. But at the end of the day, once you are away from your partner, you finally breathe! It sounds so exhausting to maintain such a relationship. But, at the end of the day, you feel so alone. Alas! This is not a good sign to go ahead.

You try to escape!

Are you finding ways to escape from a plan made by your partner? Are you trying to give excuses that you could not meet him or her the other day? If it sounds like you, understand the reason for avoiding your partner. Does your relationship feel boring, uninteresting, and tiring? You cannot be happy if you enter into a committed relationship with someone you have no interest in! So, don’t do it for the sake of others, society, or even your family. If you commit now, down the lane, you might regret it!

Are you having compatibility issues?
Are you having compatibility issues?

You prefer friends over partners.

When you feel like spending some time, you want to go to a friend’s place rather than having time with your partner. If there’s a new movie in a nearby theatre or you get tickets to a live standup comedy show, you remember your friends or family first to share this news and spend some time. Your partner is often last on the list. If this is the case, you better think if you really love him or her.

You won’t find a man in him.

I don’t mean by sexiness, but by nature, if he is too childish, like having silly toys with him or playing games always, you need to think. Even if he is so funny, if he prefers to play pranks on you or someone, if he tries to make funny comments on private parts and laugh, it doesn’t sound so macho! Do you need a kid or a man?

You no longer find him/her sexy.

Usually, sex becomes less frequent in a relationship after a certain time. But if physical intimacy disappears completely from the relationship, it is a sign. 

If you are becoming less and less interested in having sex with your partner, there could be a deeper meaning. It is necessary to think like this because, in some relationships, the partners start behaving like mother and child, brother and sister, or like father and daughter after some days. If something like this happens, it is important to rethink. Either splitting up for mutual happiness or taking some relationship counselling sessions helps.

You won’t find any future insight in him.

If your partner doesn’t seem to have any goals or ambitions, he might not be serious about life and relationships. Ask him and find out if he is working towards building a future. I don’t mean that a man who doesn’t earn or settle well can’t be loved. His intentions, focus, and determination towards living a future together show a good sign for a happy relationship. If you cannot find that, do yourself a favour and say goodbye.

You need freedom!

Say, for instance, close your eyes and imagine yourself entering a committed relationship like marriage with your partner. Your days and nights are filled with what you are going through now. All your life, like having time together, doing daily chores, living and growing old together, children and family, and so on, you can imagine. How does it feel? Do you feel breathless or trapped? Do you have a nagging voice, like “Is this necessary?” or “Oh! No, no!” running in your head? Well, you know the answer!

Relationship counselling helps
Relationship counselling helps

After all this, you might have got an idea if you want to say yes to this relationship or take it ahead. If you are still confused because some of the instances mentioned seem semi-truth to you, a relationship therapist can help. It is advisable to take pre-marital counselling or relationship counselling that helps you to decide your future.