How Over-thinking Ruins You | Affect on Relationships

By Prapoorna M

Last Updated: November 27, 2021

Over-thinking is a kind of problem that creeps somehow and increases anxiety in you, stealing your mental peace. Though thinking plays a major role in life, thinking always, is not really helpful. When you feel anxious for unreasonable things or tend to think out-of-control where you don’t find a stop, you might need some help. Be it in a relationship or your job or just about you, if your thinking goes irrational or if you feel some unexplainable symptoms or apprehensions, you might be thinking too much.

Mental health experts always recommend speaking to someone else about what goes in your mind. In case, you have no one to trust enough, confess to a counselor who could help you in getting what you need. Online counseling provides you a great way to interact with your counselor i.e., consultant psychologist at your convenience.

A girl thinking
A girl thinking

Stop reading between the lines

It is true that it might take a lot for you to do this. But try to gain control on your thoughts. If you are an over-thinker, you tend to think before they said anything or you tend to create a parallel story to what they were saying. The scenario you create often differs a lot from the reality. This might create a lot of cognitive load on your mind and could lead you to get stressed over little things. Try to come out of it by taking their words straightly.

Go by whatever they say, believing that it is true and that you need not draw any kind of meanings out of it. It might feel risk-taking for you, but just do it. Assume that you are dare enough to willingly give yourself into whatever it is and take the meaning straight. Say to yourself, “Let’s face it later, if this might bring some risk.” It might be tough to do that with your loved ones initially, so start by doing it with your friends and not-so-close ones around you.

Slowly, you will practice it doing with your closed ones too. This task is really important in coming out of over-thinking. This helps you control your anxiety too. For instance, your husband is going on a business trip and you are worried that he might be unfaithful. Write on a paper about your thoughts and see how many of them are actually related to reality, by clearly identifying the possibilities.

Now, if you still feel that there is strong chance of that happening, call him and talk to him on what you feel. Tell him what’s on your mind and ask him to cooperate in making you live in peace and talk to you daily. Now, that’s all what you can do and you can’t control what’s going on there. Know this truth and keep your calm.

Have a quick check

Are you feeling uncertainty in your relationship from long back? Is this feeling of him or her being unfaithful haunting you? Is it being tough for you to keep calm and think that everything is alright? Then, check if it’s time to re-think about continuing your relationship. If you’re in a relationship and struggling yourself thinking if your partner likes you, loyal to you and if this relationship is going to last, please check if your gut instincts are guiding you. Know if your relationship has come to an end.

You may list out the things that made you feel like this and where it all started. Talk to your partner about the things running on your mind. If those answers don’t satisfy you, it’s better to consult a relationship counselor before things get worsen.

Where’s your Life?

If everything is still fine and you are unable to give up on your over-thinking, it could be an indication that you have nothing else left in life to bother. So, try focusing on other things. If you have some serious business or career, just go ahead. Otherwise, pick up a nice hobby or a sport to shut that volume in your mind and have a refresh. Doing this can help you and your partner.

Have a life

Talk to your pals on what’s going on your mind. We usually like to have a coffee with someone and would like go fishing with some friend or freak out with another. Different people are good at different things. In the same way, talk to the wise friend in your circle and try to draw some logic on your thoughts. You will get a clarity on what you are thinking and why. But don’t bother them much which would otherwise make them run away from you.

Uncertainty is a part of life

Uncertainty is often an unwelcomed guest of life. With the changes taking place all over, we already understood how life constantly changes and evolves. Try to be comfortable with the changes of life and accept what comes your way. Whenever your thoughts wander and you get anxious of how to control the uncertainties, ask yourself a question that brings you to the present moment. Understand that your present alone decides your future life.

Your questions can be as simple as, “Where am I standing now?” and feel your feet. Know your present and the emotions that you are feeling right now. When you introduce more than one emotion to your brain at a moment, you won’t feel the intensity of any. This is how you can be in the present and keep you from over-whelming.

A lady thinking
A lady thinking

Doing these little and simple things, you can stick to the present. Remember, present is the real thing you have in hand. Past is gone and future is yet to born. It is only the present that can keep you alive. Practice mindfulness and relaxing techniques to calm down yourself when you over-think. It is important to focus on this because over-thinking can be a result of underlying anxiety. This might also result in other health-related problems like sleep and eating disorders, in particular. It is advisable to take the help of experts when you are in need. Mental health experts at Wellness hub are friendly, empathetic, and non-judgmental and help you for your overall well-being. Log on to Wellness hub and book an appointment, today.

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