It is common to feel emotional turmoil if you no longer have feelings for your partner or if your feelings decrease. It is a gradual process but doesn’t happen overnight. Losing feelings for one another can happen even in very harmonious relationships. It is, of course, natural to feel the dilemma that your relationship might have ended. This could be an assumption floating around in your head because things haven’t been going well recently. There could be hundreds of things running in your head that support your statement and another hundred that contradict it.
Sometimes a partnership can be so beautiful, no matter how much your boyfriend or husband loves you. If the feelings say goodbye, then even the most stable relationship gets out of joint. You must deal with the many questions that haunt you calmly: Do I still love him? Are my feelings enough to save the relationship? Is it a difficult phase? Can I give it all up? Emotional chaos is inevitable.
Signs that you are losing feelings for your partner
Losing feelings for your partner can show in several ways. You may identify the signs when you think back. But you must understand that every spur-of-the-moment situation cannot indicate weaker relationships.
One sign is that you hardly or not miss your partner. Even if you haven’t seen each other for a while, you don’t feel a strong need to spend time with them again. You could have started feeling comfortable when your partner wasn’t there with you. Also, you may not need to have your partner when you go out with friends or family. They get along just fine without him or even have more fun when he’s not around.
You need to know something from your partner but find other ways. You can take your partner’s things but try to buy them. You want to know what’s going on but avoid talking to him. If you are doing this, it could be a sign that you are avoiding conversations and losing interest in your relationship. It is time to talk to a professional!
Are you feeling their presence annoying? Are his flaws more evident to you? Though your partner means well to you, you could become restless and need to criticize them. You would feel suffocated and need to respond and act when your partner is around.
A parcel comes to your doorstep that belongs to your partner, but you don’t bother to know about it. Somebody comes to see him, and you don’t want to consider understanding the details. These could be indications that you are slowly drifting away from his interests and daily life. You are also not interested in things that concern your partner.
Just a part of routine
You have begun to assimilate the relationship as part of your routine. Think about your daily routine, which you do automatically without enjoying or getting excited. Brush your teeth, make your bed or fold your clothes. If your relationship has also been one of those that you must do out of obligation, it is a sign.
Honesty – Not the best policy?
Sincerity can be one of the things you have chosen to hide from him. There could be secrets or moments you enjoy that you don’t wish to share with him. Along with it, the attitude you take towards the things he does matters the most. For example, you can accept an apology from him; but deep down, hold resentment and manifest it through your attitude towards your partner.
Your partner avoids intimacy. You gradually get habituated that you no longer need to be touched by your partner. You could reach to a point that you pray he doesn’t have those feelings on you, at all. It is a strong sign if you are uncomfortable with his advances and your partner touching you.
You plan your future without your partner. You cannot imagine moving in with your partner in the future or having children with them despite your desire to have children. You have a big “No” for the word “togetherness” with your partner. Then, it is evident how much you want to stay away from your partner.
Wondering what to do?
The diminishing feelings can lead to inner chaos. You may be wondering if you can still salvage the relationship. Yes, of course. There are ways if you are still thinking of bridging the gaps and getting your relationship on track. Let’s just have a look at the possible solutions.
Is he annoying?
There is not a single person on earth who would not be annoyed by the permanent presence of another. You live with him or see him almost every day. Yes, if he were a friend, you would have climbed the wall long ago from some little things like slurping tea or socks scattered around the apartment.
Very often, the cause of your irritation is not the man himself but something deeper and more personal. For example, it could be your discipline to keep things neat that you were taught in childhood, which used to bring you a punishment when not done. It is good to clean the house and take the help of a maid to sort things out on a domestic basis. But if there is more negative in any aspect than positive, this is a good reason to think.
Does it feel like brotherhood?
Often when people get well along with each other, having each other face any consequences as good friends do, it feels like a brotherhood has grown between you two. This is especially realized when that friendship between couples dominates the usual gender attraction. The absence of sexual intimacy adds to it.
But it is believed that friendships filled with mutual understanding are just the foundation for a long-term romance. It’s all about the sense of gratitude and unity experienced by a couple who knows how to be comrades to each other. It helps out a lot when the main passions subside. You got things done together, acting like a well-functioning team. From these thoughts, it becomes warm, and you can feel tenderness for your so close and familiar man.
Don’t you feel the emotional intensity?
Well, that could be just fine. After all, the amount of hormones and neurotransmitters in lovers’ blood in the acute stage goes off the scale. This could make you relate to the initial days when you could not work, sleep, eat, and communicate with friends, and all thoughts were filled with him. Therefore, nature provides for a certain decline after a certain period of living together. But in the future, cyclical rises will follow. Significant events in your life provoke a new emotional outburst.
Check if you find the signs that you prefer to stay away and stop romantically loving your partner. It is probably that you want to stay at work and avoid conversations. It is good to consider this and speak to a professional relationship counsellor, if necessary. But if you are worried about passion, try different ways to date your partner.
Has one of you started seeing someone else?
Man, unlike the swan, is a polygamous animal. But monogamy, as anthropologists have found out, is a social phenomenon, forced, provided in order to protect their territories and bring food with great success. Therefore, there is nothing strange in the fact that your fantasies project interest in other young people. Unfortunately, this also applies to your boyfriend.
Whether to change or not is a purely personal matter for everyone. Unlike other polygamous animals, our sexual appetite is controllable, and our temperament is logical.
Are you worried about your changing sexual interests?
We get addicted to sexual partners like a drug. It’s all about the hormone oxytocin, responsible for feelings of tenderness and trust in each other. Another thing is that it may turn out that your current partner is not so compatible with you in bed. Do you feel completely calm in bed, and you involuntarily compare him with others?
Compromise is the basis of any relationship, from work to love. You can always negotiate if your partner’s desires are less than you, or you prefer wildness rather than his tender caress. Let today everything be as he wants, and tomorrow – according to your wishes. By the way, sexologists once again proved that true sexuality is revealed only when you and your partner have spent more than one month together. So, everything may be still ahead of you.
How to deal with it?
Learn to strike a balance meanwhile you work on your relationship. They say that extreme sports are good for this where the such environment provides it and trying new impressions to change the situation. But there is a real danger to turning a good relationship into a continuous drama in order to squeeze at least a drop of emotion out of them.
What else can you do?
To bring back your long-gone love, to refill the vigour in your life, and to strengthen your weakening relationship, you can try a few things.
- Spend time together in situations that bring you closer to each other – for example, a relaxing spa vacation for two or a hike at the weekend.
- Try something new and create new memories. Try doing things together like decorating your home, preparing a special dish, or enjoying a movie and making more memories to cherish. This togetherness can bring a spark that has gone dull.
- You can take kids to friends or grandparents for a weekend. You can indulge in fun activities like a rock climbing gym, cooking class, or stand-up comedy show.
- Go through memories together, like old photos. This can help to remember the happy moments and good times in the relationship and take the focus away from petty arguments.
If none of this helps, it is good to have an open talk with a relationship counsellor. A psychologist or couple counsellor can help you resolve the relationship issues by throwing some light on the kinds of approaches you can take. In case you strongly feel that this is not going to work, it is sometimes a good decision to part ways. However, you can have a clear idea with the help of a professional.