Are you on the brink of breaking up or going towards it? Are you worried about the ways to get back the love of your Ex? If yes, you are reading the right one. It is painful when a relationship ends. But, sooner or later, you may come to terms with it. Before you jump on impulse to get your ex-partner back anyways, it is necessary to reflect on why you are doing so.
You have someone so significant and dreamt a whole life ahead together. But something was not right, and a series of consequences had led your relationship to this state. You are ready to forget any disturbances for the sake of the relationship, whereas your partner doesn’t agree with that. Now, you are unable to withstand this. But why so? We like familiarity and don’t like to change our love habits. But when a change is introduced, every change means a lot of uncertainty for us. We might not understand why something should change when we are happy with how it was.
Fear of separation
After the initial shock of separation, we shift to desperate mode, which is perfectly natural. But often, we beg our partner not to leave us. Why do we fear the thought of separation?
Rather than the separation, the fear of loneliness and the feelings accompanying a breakup, such as sadness, disappointment, helplessness, and powerlessness, resist the change. We fear the loss of togetherness. We may already be jealous at the thought that our partner might soon fall in love all over again with someone else. We could be having uncomfortable thoughts about coping with daily life activities without the presence of our partner. That feeling of being loved and accepted will be missing.
If you think of getting your ex-partner back, you should know why you want to do that. If it is your life partner and you have got children, that could be a strong reason for you to have a complete family with a father and mother for the children. You might decide to live together for the sake of children. But that is not good for children. Recent studies show that children suffer more from a failed relationship between their parents, which only continues for their sake. It is much more painful than having the parents separated to be happy with new partners.
Are you clinging?
Suppose you have various fears, helplessness and powerlessness, and a loss of control over life. In that case, it is obvious to get scared of the future. Unfortunately, these feelings are part and parcel of a breakup. Various fears also play a role in separation. But, to compensate for blaming your happiness on them and having the conversations like, “When you’re there, I just feel better”, won’t help.
Such clinging can only make you weaker. Anyone that thinks it will feel good again after winning the ex back will quickly be disappointed. It is because one cannot feel good again through your ex but can only through yourself. A relationship restart can only succeed if we can and want to deal with ourselves and our thoughts and feelings.
Even if your emotions play a strong role and bring your partner back, it might not last long. Because, after a short time, things would again come into the picture, and you both would end up breaking up again. It is because you have not changed with these tricks. The real change begins with you. Most people separate when they have overcome the fear of change and want to develop themselves further.
Why should you go through all this?
The separation always stands for a new beginning. You might not yet know it is time for change and further development. The need for security and the need for further development is core human. Sometimes people confuse love with the need for security. Know what you are looking at. If the relationship is not mutual, mere clinging won’t work. It is just a matter of time before you would have another heartbreak. But, if you can work on yourself, you will be equipped to handle any relationship. Take the help of a relationship expert to be better at handling relationships.
Lovesickness can be a painful feeling that punishes your emotional self. This pain can often manifest as physical symptoms. Some have the impression of becoming depressed. Mostly, lovesickness and depression feel similar. But unlike depressed people, those with lovesickness have a specific trigger for their pain and feel relieved when they talk about it.
How to gain your love back?
Suppose you have a strong feeling that your partner is also missing you. Still, a small ego clash or a misunderstanding has led to a crack in the relationship. In that case, you may try bridging the gap. Of course, it is not always worth giving up on your relationship too soon. But for this, that commitment has to be there on both sides.
It is important to talk about the issue that led to a breakup and to come to terms with how it should be if you both want to live together. Having an uninterrupted or undisturbed personal life is very important. For that, having a strong verbal agreement between the partners is a must for a better relationship. Communication should never base on assumptions.
Check the Willingness
If both of you decide to be together, you will have a few things you need to change. Check the willingness genuinely if both will work towards this. Taking the help of a relationship counsellor will be beneficial in this regard. It is because no habit should be forced upon one.
Build new Memories
Leave the old beaten track. Get out of all that negativity that was bitter. You need to find a new sense of togetherness. And it should include new experiences that give you positive vibes. Try to discover new sides of your new “old” partner. Reorganize your free time and do things you haven’t done before. Give your relationship a fresh start by changing your previous habits.
After all this, you have enough knowledge to start it afresh. When relationships are formed at a young age, they often fail due to unreasonableness, too great a thirst for adventure, which often results in cheating, and a lack of maturity. After a few years, you would get a good grip on what leads to an argument and how to deal with it. Break your old patterns of reacting that won’t work. After all, you’ve learned a lot in the meantime, not only about relationships but also about yourself. This gives a reason to believe that a new start promises good chances. I wish you all the best.