Does your relationship feel more demanding, and you think you are nursing it like a mother? Do you feel increasingly uncomfortable with your partner and unable to understand why? Are you the one who is profoundly trying to make the relationship happy for both of you? Then, it would also be you alone, who is being misunderstood all the while. The active partner is often neglected in one-sided relationships and feels misunderstood. But if this happens often, it seriously threatens the relationship. A psychologist or family therapist can help you well in this regard.
A relationship can be addressed as one-sided when there is a lack of balance in it. The lack of balance is seen in emotional support, financial support, or investing time and energy in the relationship and family. For example, you want to please your partner and constantly go towards him in everything. However, he will not take even the slightest step towards you. If you think that one day everything will change, please wake up! If you are in a one-sided relationship, he takes you for granted, just as a convenient appliance at home.
What is a one-sided relationship?
In a one-sided or unilateral relationship, a person feels lonely, even beside a partner. When it is about love between two people, the experience gives pleasure. But when the love and affection are from a single person directed towards the one who takes everything for granted, such a relationship is quite exhausting.
If you are in a Single-sided relationship, you get a weird feeling like things are not fair when it comes to the balance in the relationship. It is good to take courage and admit to yourself what you are afraid to even think about, that he is not interested in you. After a prolonged period, you will understand that you mainly walk alone and have a one-sided love relationship. It’s painful to turn around and see that your partner no longer wants to follow you. They don’t care to put the same energy into the relationship as you do, while you are only the giver.
If you feel like you’re losing your footing, here are some signs or red flags that can help you figure out if you’re in a one-sided romantic relationship.
Red flags of a one-sided relationship
Relationships sound great when love is mutual and genuine. But some people enter into relationships out of identity crisis, while some are out of loneliness and dependability. Some people choose relationships simply out of boredom or to get some profit out of it. Suppose a true and faithful loving partner gets into a relationship with a passive partner. In that case, this relationship can inflict deep psychological wounds on the active partner.
Here are some red flags indicating you are in a one-sided relationship with no reciprocity.
Your unexpressed emotions that are often held back, fearing your partner will be annoyed, say a lot. When people love and appreciate each other, there is no need for this. Everyone expects a partner to support us in all situations.
Compromising on interests
It is common for everyone to compromise on some issues. But what if it is you who always has to compromise on interests? Are your needs and hobbies fading away in the background while your partner’s priorities occupy the front?
A person who loves you should make you feel good, not bad. After all, a relationship has to make life more beautiful. Suppose you sense that this relationship is making you suffocate and feel down. In that case, it is a one-sided relationship.
Are you the driving force behind your relationship, who fulfils all the needs and does everything to keep it lively? Does everything from planning dates and trips, taking the initiative, and arranging gifts and surprises for others, lie on your shoulders? You might have noticed that you get nothing in return but reproaches that you do too little for the relationship.
Under this deadly combo, any human being feels emotionally exhausted. Is this a constant feeling for you? Then it is obvious to show its symptoms on your physical health too. For example, you might try making romantic gestures, but they don’t work. Hoping to finally get recognition from your partner, you will be continually disappointed. This emotional state can eventually lead to depression.
Is it an Obligation?
Do you feel that he is being indifferent? Does it make you feel like the relationship has become an obligation for him? If your gut feeling says so, consider and analyze the source of this thought. It would say that one-sided relationships are such!
Are you comparing everything with your partner’s expectations, like appearance, managing work, intelligence, or humour? If you doubt yourself for everything by comparing, you are trying to please others. But if your partner doesn’t accept who you are, do you think he suits you?
Do you often have to apologize for your partner’s behaviour and attitude towards others? You have to understand that your partner is taking everything for granted. When someone loves you, they show it, and people will see it. You don’t have to act like his attorney.
All these days, you have invested much in this relationship, your hopes, work, time, and emotions, by sacrificing everything yours. And, you want to fight till the end. But the truth is, the more you stay in such a relationship, the more you lose. If you still manage to break out of the vicious circle, you should take this experience as a useful lesson.
After knowing all these signs, that are the red flags of your relationship, you might know if yours is a single-sided relationship. You’ve now realized that you cannot rely on his help. You know he won’t always be there for you like you are for him.
Why does your partner behave so?
As previously discussed, the active partner plays a major role in the one-sided relationship. But the passive partner doesn’t feel like playing an equal role and reciprocates the same, as their upbringing teaches them differently. These people often come from a family with few rules and boundaries. Usually, the exchange of normal emotions and pleasantries is not seen here. The parents set an example in suppressing feelings.
It is necessary to know that these complex relationship issues can be managed through hard work, open communication between partners, and analyzing thought patterns. Taking professional help is very useful in this regard.
To work on this,
- Both partners should work collaboratively without criticizing each other. Communication is the key to everything.
- Set a bar for yourself that you are willing to accept. This will help you understand how long you can generally handle the situation.
- You should be completely honest and follow a realistic approach to achieving your targets.
- Be clear on your emotional investment without involving any emotions.
- Communicate the new rules clearly and then strictly adhere to them.
- The passive partner should honestly work to change their ways.
- Both should spend time doing this progressively.
- Both should work together with the help of a professional relationship counsellor to improve the relationship.
Turning a one-sided relationship into a healthy one is difficult but possible. As said earlier, it will take a lot of hard work and honest communication from both of you. Discuss what you both would contribute to the relationship. Talk about which of these is beneficial not only to him but also to you. Putting up boundaries help you to be clear about what you can tolerate, as it is necessary to emphasize. If you think you cannot handle all of this alone, it is good to seek professional help.