Love or blind infatuation: What do you have?

By Prapoorna M

Last Updated: November 21, 2022

Almost everyone comes across this question in mind during their teenage. The sensations that develop in the body could hint at your infatuation. But the strong feeling you have as an emotion might tell you that it is true Love. But how to find out whether it is Love or infatuation? Both Love and infatuation indicate strong feelings of affection towards someone. These feelings make it difficult to tell the two apart since the symptoms overlap. A strong passion can have the symptoms of true Love, and when you love someone, the symptoms of infatuation can also present. The differences between Love and infatuation, therefore, lie more in degree than in definition.

A couple having a happy time
A couple having a happy time

To get a clear picture of what you have, let us know the pattern and symptoms of Love and infatuation. Knowing them in a broader sense will give an idea of what is happening.

What is Infatuation?

Infatuation is more like a feeling of attraction and charm and focuses on someone you don’t know much about. Infatuation is a state of being carried away by unreasoned passion and extravagant emotion. Though signs of incompatibility and red flags indicate hormonal changes, the person will not be able to recognize them. Infatuation will be strong even though the person is unfamiliar to us and we don’t know much about them.

Symptoms such as walking on clouds when things are going well and feeling sick when things are going bad are common here. You might experience chills down your spine inability to concentrate or eat when the feelings are overwhelming. Passion is a strong attraction that can be present without true Love. It is commonly found in men to experience strong sexual attraction towards a woman he has never met. Sexual attraction and erotic sensations don’t indicate Love for someone. Neither are they absent in Love. But, if all that unites a couple is a passion, the relationship will end after a few months.

Signs of infatuation

The basis on which strong feelings for a person lie is mostly superficial. The appearance of a person, beauty, external looks and behaviour is the source of infatuation. In this sense, there need not be any deep knowledge about what the person is like, to have infatuation. For example, suppose a man has an infatuation towards a lady. The attributes he claims to have led to the feelings are mostly external. Anyone who doesn’t have a good rapport with her can notice these attributes. He will be disappointed if she doesn’t live up to his ideas and expectations. But ignores the negative feelings and only tries to make the best impression. Romantic relationships will develop rapidly, and a person will immediately form feelings.

Some people strongly believe (as they don’t want to accept) that an infatuation is also a form of Love. Though it may sound pathetic, the truth is that infatuation fades away with time. For some, it might take days and a few months. It will fade away one day, whereas Love will last long. Then it is common to doubt if infatuation can turn into Love. In a practical sense, Love can bloom only when infatuation fades away. It is because infatuation mostly depends on a sense of strong passion that draws a person completely. But Love can only happen where there is understanding and cooperation instead of superficial attractions. Love can manifest only when the person’s character is known, and you can accept him or her despite all the little things and shortcomings.

What is Love?

A couple’s love, unlike infatuation, involves a deep understanding of the character, knowing the person well, and accepting as they are, despite shortcomings. Being in Love, you make an effort and don’t intentionally hurt, retaliate or manipulate the person you love. You completely understand and respect your partner’s needs, and they don’t annoy you. In Love, the longing and joy of partnership still exist even after hundreds of meetings.

A couple showing the symbol of love
A couple showing the symbol of love

Signs of being in Love

Unlike infatuation, Love shows fewer physical symptoms but more emotional responses. These will not be superficial attractions, though a controllable amount of sexual interests are present. Even for romantic advancements, a person in Love would strongly wait for consent, either verbally or nonverbally.

The desire to be close to the person you love is also a common sign. You may feel empty and alone when your loved one is not with you, but that does not indicate that your Love is true. Love is based on more than attraction or passion. Rather than what you should do, it is about how you feel when you are in Love.

No Manipulations:

Though a small white lie won’t hurt, you would try to be genuine all the time. Even if it is about giving a compliment, no over-the-top attempts are made. You appreciate honesty and forgiveness.

Confidence in person:

You would feel so confident about your relationship and the person. You feel confident without constant beliefs in reciprocity. You show your Love in action whenever you can.

Valuing the partner:

You can never degrade the partner’s beliefs or needs. You respect their feelings and value them for who they are. You would consider their interests and needs whenever a decision has to be made. You care for them and accept their care. You don’t tend to win over arguments, but try to come to a mutually agreeable point of compromise.

Never for Granted:

You can never take your partner for granted. If you love a person, you cannot hurt their emotions, not even as punishment for something they did. Whenever they share something, you appreciate and support them, but don’t criticize or annoy them with your theories.

Understand what you are going through

As discussed above, it can be identified if you are in Love or if it is infatuation. But either way, if you cannot accept what you have discovered, try to know if the other person also has feelings for you. You may give your relationship enough time before you name it. Then, you can understand what you have in mind.

A couple in conversation
A couple in conversation

Generally, when a relationship ends, you are likely to feel lonely. Under such a state, you tend to interpret a new connection as true Love and develop feelings. But this could be just a fling. Suppose you find yourself so clingy and lacking self-esteem, trying to seek emotional support or indirectly begging someone to be with you. In that case, it is a sign that you are deeply disturbed. Seeking professional help can benefit in such situations.

Some people tend to withdraw from all social connections once their relationship fails. Some try to behave emotionally maturely on the external side but suffer a lot internally. Either way, it is not good to neglect. Take control of your emotions and deal with yourself reasonably. Emotionally mature people and those with good self-esteem can also be wrong. Still, they are better able to analyze the situation. If you struggle to come to a conclusion, a relationship counsellor can guide you through what is going on.

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