Mother and son relationship is the combo of some emotion and fun with a tinge of surprise. With the changes in times, the relation between a mother and son is also getting refined in all ways. Mothers are expected to be more liberal, while sons are expected to be more empathetic. Well, studies say that it is there in the hands of a mother to nurture her son to be kind-hearted and empathetic, yet a tough man.
As it is put by Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Men are what their mothers made them”. Studies say that boys
who don’t have a healthy bond with their mother could become hostile and aggressive in their later years. Even when the behavioral problems are measured in later years, the roots are formed because of the lack of emotional connect with their mothers. A son who clings to his mother all the time during childhood, avoids her during teenage and won’t share his worries with her, so as lest she worries, as he grows to be a man.
Why is the Relationship with Mother So Important?
There are many things to be discussed when it comes on why the relationship with the mother is crucial in the up-bringing of a boy child. It is, because it determines if he has to be a scientist or a terrorist. In the sense, the emotional connection with mother, activates the emotional intelligence of the son, says the studies.
Her Love Nurtures
A boy, who is loved and cared for by his mother, becomes a strong and confident man. Unconditional love and acceptance of mother reassures the son that he is lovable and capable of being a good friend and lover. It is this warmth that makes him soft at heart, teaches him to be kind to others and to appreciate his self-worth. An educated mother teaches him well to be good at academics and encourages studying more.
Her Teachings Inspire
The education that he gets from his mother during childhood settles well in his brain and makes him feel connected deeply. As a mother makes him learn religious things during childhood, he is more likely to become theist. If a mother imbibes patriotism in him during his childhood, he could turn into a great soldier for his country. It is the role of a mother that determines how emotionally well and strong a person can be.
Her Emotions, Awaken him
As the mother imparts emotional intelligence in her son, he would be eloquent in his expressions and thus he can make himself presentable even in the society. This not only cultivates a sense of self-awareness in him, but also makes him realize his self-worth and bestows him with that inner strength which he is capable of.
Her Presence Teaches Him
Boys who are close to their mothers don’t believe in the male stereotypes. They understand that men also have tears and its okay for them to cry. They don’t think that fighting or being tough alone could bring solutions. Instead, they understand that there are other ways and dealing with problems with emotional intelligence could win many times. They are good at convincing people and will be ready to make peace even with their enemies. The levels of patience and pain bearing would also be high in them.
Evokes Respect for Women
Such men, who are close to their mothers, will be able to respect other women. The superiority issues and ego clashes that men usually have with women around cannot bother them, because they could appreciate the role of a woman in a relationship. As they observe their mothers closely, they understand what a woman goes through and how well she can perform her tasks. They can understand the importance of women and would treat their partner with same warmth, affection and care.
Boys are less likely to indulge in risky behaviors and bad habits like smoking, alcohol consumption and substance abuse, when they share a hearty relation with their mother. Also, the peer-pressure influence gets reduced on them. As a mother guides and helps her son to become a man who can handle emotions, he will succeed to become an individual who can exceptionally handle both ups and downs in his career path. Such a person can never think of committing suicide for failures in his life. He builds his character with strong sense of self handling all that comes his way, yet being kind and truthful.
Life Skills in Hand
Being close to mother, he could learn the essential life skills like cooking, cleaning, gardening etc. which make him independent. This teaches him that no work is less or more. He could earn self-respect and could also have respect for labor. This helps him make his mark and earn respect in the society as a reputed individual.
When to do What?
If you are a mother or going-to-be one, knowing these things would help you a lot. Though it seems easy, it is sometimes difficult the changes in your boy, as he grows old year-by-year. You can’t be with him the way you were during his childhood. Entering his teens, he starts to move away from you and as he gets into his later teenage, he is a different person altogether. Stepping into his job and achieving his career goals, you will see him turn into a real man.
There are stages in your son’s life where your expression of love towards him and your treatment and the discipline you hold should also change.
Since his birth, your son feels the warmth of your love, being close to you all the while. As a toddler, he learns all the basic activities through you. He observes and tries to imitate you. This bondage will create a sense of security in him since childhood and such boys grow without getting affected by psychological stress. Being a kid, he experiences the care from you while he plays and the supports from you when he falls and fails. All these things develop his inner strength.
Adolescence is the age where there occur a lot of disturbances for them, in the family relationships. With the changes that take place internally and externally, teenagers are prone to be fussy, aggressive and tough-to-deal with. Arguments and yelling at them should be highly avoided. They are prone to experiment with smoking, alcohol and drug abuse at this age. You may tell them how bad those habits are for them and explain the consequences often. Teenagers expect to treat them as adults in the house. Your treatment could turn them either into a rebel or into a responsible person. To be a good parent, try to involve your teenager in family discussions and make them feel valued. Talk to them instead of imposing some rules or etiquettes. Explain to them when you want them to understand. Remember that a teenager is no more a kid.
Time flies as your teenager turns to be a man. Your boy could be in a relationship by this time. It is your responsibility to hint the preferences of your house and the qualities of a person that can match him. Mothers can help their sons stay focused on their career and help them be realistic too. Handle some responsibilities to them and let them share the expenses of the house. This makes them have an idea on the finances needed to run a house and the need for savings too.
What else do you need to do?
Being a mother, it is your responsibility to make sure all the members of your house stay connected and make it a home.
Nurture the dad-bond: Establish a strong bond between your son and his dad. Makes sure they both spend some time together in the whole day. Let them know that as time goes by, such moments will be hard to reoccur.
Foster independence: Every child needs to make his own mistakes and learn things in his own way. Be his side and encourage him to do things on his own. But let him know that his parents will always be with him. Respect his ability to make some decisions for himself
Maintain that gap: Let him have his personal time and feelings. After entering tweens, kids tend to have some personal space. When it comes to handling relationships, those over-loaded opinions and suggestions of yours could trigger an urge in him to rebel against you. Hence let your boy have some personal experiences and in case he comes to you for some advice, use your tact.
Well, hope you have gained great information on how well it can be. Are you still having some doubts on how to implement them in your house to build an effective relationship? Our family counselors are always available whether you want to make an instant call or book an appointment. Talk to our experts to resolve any kind of family issues, relationship issues, teenage issues, marital issues or geriatric issues. We are here to help you. Book an appointment, today.