How Can I Understand My Husband? | Does He Still Love Me?

By Prapoorna M

Last Updated: November 27, 2021

Are men really from Mars? At times, women don’t understand why they don’t get any correlation between what he seems to be and what he really is!! Now, please stop looking for tips and suggestions elsewhere as you have landed upon a right page. He is sensible, sensitive and sensuous too. It is just you who needs to figure out what he is, and when.

But for that, you need to let go off all of your presumptions. Women tend to keep themselves in testing mode every now and then and lose their patience because of it. As women are trained to be perfect since childhood, this eventually makes them anxious. This anxiety won’t let you stay calm and you keep on checking his love and attention all the time.

Be Patient Enough

Life is not a romantic movie. So, please don’t fantasize your real life and make a mess out of those illusions. Instead of wondering why he didn’t reply you promptly, try to observe those little changes in his voice, to know if he is tired or stressed. He might not blatantly open up to you about his problems, but his voice or a slight change in body language can make you understand what he is going through, if you are patient enough in understanding.

A lady thinking
A lady thinking

Does he still love me? This is the most common question that runs in the mind of a woman. But actually, Love means many different things to men, like sharing, caring and attending the needs too. It is very well said that “If he’s into you, he shows the action and if not there’s lack of action” which means a man can only show his love through what he does and how he cares. But please don’t judge him by assessing every minute. This care only comes when there is a need for action, but not always.

Never Measure

Women usually have their own scales for measuring. But please remember that their world is entirely different and men have their own measures. Asking if he loves you and assessing his answer is never a way to know if he really loves you. As being a woman, you have your own language, he has his. It is common that there could be lists of questions in your head, at times, like Am I bothering him a lot?

Why is he so calm? Am I not being so attractive for him? Is he the same? Do we still share the same love? You must be thinking like, “He didn’t comment on my new dress I wore just now. He didn’t even complete that hot coffee which I handed him.

What he must be pondering over? Is that to his Ex he is texting?” Whoa… Chill ladies!!! Your man could be humming something in head without actually bothering his surroundings including your observatory looks or maybe your new dress too. Men are simple beings and mostly off-minded. It is actually astonishing to know that they could spend hours together without thinking anything!! Absolutely Nothing?!! Yep.. Sounds weird, right? Yes, they do. Believe me!!

He expresses his love in deeds

Every man tends to do more, protect her and keep her comfortable all the time. It is his way of showing pure love. You might not get surprise gifts or expensive watches or handbags all the time, but he takes care that you don’t suffer sudden financial problems, or health issues. When you are looking angrily at that wet towel he left on the bed, he might be pulling that chair aside so that you wouldn’t get hurt, while leaving the room. When you are awaiting his praises for the food you made, he might be appreciating your efforts silently in the heart. Men are always not so open. But they would like to show their love through some work. Be patient enough to observe and understand.

What Men are like?

Men are simple beings. They are not at all as complex as women. But of course, if your man is an introvert, it would be a bit difficult for you. In general, men are men. No confusions or complications. Even his body language says what he wants. When you find open arm, open palm or body facing you, it means that he needs your attention. He has something to say that you have to listen. If he is emotionally low, you can observe it in his body language and voice too. The closer you get emotionally to him, the clearer and deeper will be your understanding.

Men are usually independent and they love to spend time alone. They are choosy in making good friends and might not share all the secrets with only one. They would love to hang out with friends. So please allow them to. If you draw a strict line on having fun with friends too, then you might be digging your own loneliness, which means they would slowly get emotionally away from you and shut off their emotional gateway. That would be the starting point for any crisis in marriage. So, let them be independent while being in marriage, just like a kite flies high, against hot winds while being threaded to the ground. Respect their freedom and priorities too.

A couple arguing in bedroom
A couple arguing in bedroom

Harassing a man with words and making them emotionally bound could make you win instantly but you could lose his emotional end, permanently.

They tend to be competitive in many aspects of life. Men are risk takers. They would love to take challenges. But when you hurt them emotionally, they will take it as an emotional challenge and will do their best to win even emotionally and become independent. This might hurt the relationships. Being together in a competition could be more thrilling than being against each other. Never trigger his ego with words which could lead to emotional competencies.

Men love food. It is a well-known saying that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. This applies almost to every man. Cook his favorite food with love and serve him with care and attention. It’s not that you need to be devoted or a typical-pativrata type, it is just because, you love him. Be attentive to his needs and make things available for him with which he actually feels proud of you and will be happy that you are there for him no matter what. Try to spend most of your time together and improve your emotional bonding. Knowing him is a great way to handle any conflicts between you.

Attitude matters the Most

Pointing out the flaws is easy, but knowing that four of those five fingers are still pointing towards you is difficult. Blaming him could hurt his ego, instead, have some patience and explain him in a calm tone. If she is patient enough to understand him, she can act as a minister to tell him how he should behave, in a convincing manner, which would later on create a win for the couple. Sharing a warm relation is always a two-way process.

Then why not take a step today towards it to make your relationship successful? There can be disagreements between couples. But arguments or discussions that happen should be in a constructive way but not in a toxic way where those words would kill the soft corner. The attitude while dealing with conflicts should be in such a way that it should make your bond stronger but never leaves a mark of those differences or issues that happened.

Having differences in marriage? Has the communication between you both got tampered? Our marital counselors are here to help you with the issues you face and would offer you some valuable suggestions and tips and guide you to build a better relationship. Book an appointment, today.

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