Pre-engagement Counselling and its Uses | Why Should You Consider Pre-engagement Counselling?

By Prapoorna M

Last Updated: November 27, 2021

Before those rings got exchanged and before the date and venue got fixed, before the wedding destination and the honeymoon vacation were thought about, why don’t you know each other well by pulling off those “being nice” veils and seeing the real truth hidden behind? Any wise person can accept that such a step can clearly reduce the chances of getting divorced, later on. Then, why don’t you give it a thought, now itself?
Whether it is you who choose your life partner or maybe your parents, once the things are fixed and you got married, you are going to live with that person for the rest of your life.

Marriage is a decision made for life. Then, why do you hurry or would rely completely on someone else’s opinion on how your life would be with him/her? Come to an expert psychologist for a pre-engagement counseling before you come to a decision whether to go ahead or not. Know and understand the real person and make a decision for yourself.

A couple holding hands
A couple holding hands

What is a Pre-Engagement Counseling?

Pre-engagement counseling is undergone while you consider a person for getting married to. When you want to make a big decision at your life’s biggest turn, pre-engagement counseling helps you in saying a yes or no. Whether you both are a dating couple or just acquaintances or maybe some distance relatives, when you both consider marrying each other, you might have some worries if you know the real person or if the things are being presented nicely before you.

In many parts of the world, the matrimonial services bring those alliances to you. In countries like India, people give preference in reading the kundali before going ahead for the marriage. But psychological tests which can tell the personality of these two people and the compatibility check for them, can clearly give you an idea on how great their marital life would be. Hence the scientific approach of knowing each other helps a lot, especially in arranged marriages.

Why Should You Consider Pre-Engagement Counseling?

How can you be sure whether you can say ‘yes’, when the person you’re dating proposes to marry you? It is only when you know if you both are compatible with each other and if marriage works for you both. So, what should a couple do before going to get engaged? The couples who are dating seriously or whose marriage is under consideration are understood to take a wise decision, if they choose to take pre-engagement counseling.

It is a known fact that, any person will try to impress the other by acting in a nice manner and by projecting themselves in a positive and impressive way. But, how to know the real face of the person? The answer is here. With the experienced psychologists and their well-framed questionnaire we have, you can know what the person really is!! Don’t worry about the manipulations, our adept consultant psychologists are masters in finding out. This scientific approach in knowing a person’s real character helps a lot in making great decision of your future. Once you know if you both are compatible to each other, you would get to know the realities of a married life. This would be a great step if you consider marriage seriously.

With this Pre-engagement counseling,

  • Both positive and negative traits of a person are known
  • Camouflages of personal flaws are exposed
  • Both will know each other personalities
  • Sugar coated issues are brought to light
  • White lies are clearly known

You can take your important life decision on such reliable piece of information.

Why this Should be “Before Engagement”?

Studies say that many couples tend to be less inclined to take an in-depth and honest look at their relationships, once they are engaged. They want to believe that everything is going to be perfect and that life will be like a fairy tale. It is of course true that nobody wants to call-off their engagement. Especially when there is some social stigma attached to it. Hence the couples tend to overlook the flaws and turn a blind eye to those rough roads of their marriage, which would eventually end up in a tough marriage or maybe a divorce.

On the other hand, before marriage, taking a pre-marital counseling is that you already accepted the mentality of the person and is going to accept him/her as your life partner. So, it helps you on how to get well with each other and other aspects of marriage that you both should be dealing with, together. But, in order to confidently say that word, “together”, you need to be confident about your relationship and your compatibility. Being nice with each other all the while when living in a marriage, would never be possible. Knowing the personalities through pre-engagement counseling helps you to know if you can go to further step in your life.

A couple having a fun time together
A couple having a fun time together

Living Together

If you are a couple who are in living-together relationship, you might already have an idea on what the other person is, how he/she would react if something goes wrong, their patience levels, their strengths and weaknesses, everything. But, there is also one thing that you could be ignoring. As you both were not married yet, it’s common that neither of you would take the other person for granted. There’s still a chance that either of you could call off the relationship. Hence that insecurity lets you both behave nicely to each other. This is why you should give it a thought, that what happens if you are married to each other.

Also, if you consider not marrying a person with whom you have lived, or if one of you is considering marriage while the other is not ready yet or doesn’t want to, it’s highly beneficial if you can book a pre-engagement counselling session. This lets you understand in a scientific way, on what happens if you both get married. After getting an idea of this, you may take your decision on what to do.

Wellness Hub has a curated list of adept psychologists that can cater to your needs. You may have a face-to-face counseling session or a phone or video counseling session, depending upon your convenience. Click to book an appointment with the desired psychologist at your convenient time.

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