There’s a huge misbelieve all around the world that a man should never complain about his problems. Being silent and dealing himself with his own problems, is where his manliness lies. Ah, Seriously?? Don’t you guys count a man as a human being? Every being on Earth has problems and pains.
A solution can be found only when spoken out and discussed. Then how on earth can a man survive being silent about his problems? Leave the answer to hell and start to tell your problems to your trusted friend. There are issues and situations where everyone stumbles for a solution.
Some problems kill us slowly from within while we manage smiling all the way. Whether we smile or not, the problems remain the same until we discuss. Going through a lot of things since the day starts, a man has numerous issues to face. Our daily activities are being filled with a lot of stress, tension and anxiety which sometimes lead to depression and other mental illness.
From the basic needs of a house to the emergency needs, everything has to be filled in time, which otherwise would lead to tension in many of us. All the needs such as financial, household, medical emergency, relationship needs, marital issues, problems in family etc. could lead to stress and anxiety. It is really tough to swim through these daily waves of stressful situations without getting wet with mental illness.
Why do you need Counseling?
Having heard the phrase, “Men are from Mars” it is believed that men are tough and strong. It’s actually the circumstances that make a man or a woman tough. Seeking help for your psychological needs is never going to make you weak. Instead, it shows you a way how to be stronger in all the situations, though everything turns out to be a failure.
Counselling is a talk therapy where the client shares all his/her feelings, emotions, thoughts and issues that he/she is going through to seek help from the counsellor. A well trained counsellor helps you without any prejudices and protects anonymity and confidentiality. Licensed and certified doctors and therapists can provide online counselling, treating many ailments like depression, stress, tensions, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, Bipolar disorder etc.
Online counseling or online therapy has other names like cyber counseling, e-counseling e-therapy and tele-therapy. Online counselling can be usually done through email, video conferencing, online chat or real time chat, messaging or internet phone etc.
What is “He” like?
The boy who once used to enjoy life at its best, willing to do whatever he likes and wishes to go wherever he feels, will be bound to some responsibilities once he becomes a man. Changes take place in every walk of life, the way he speaks, behaves, thinks and acts will be taken care of as he presents himself to the society as a man. Men grow by learning from the society and the circumstances.
Whether a man becomes a miser or a spendthrift, whether a man is so intelligent or cunning, or if he is a gentleman or just pretends, depends on the way he was brought up and the influence the society had on him. Some of them have a happy childhood with no pressures at all, but have to handle hell lot of pressures and tensions once he grows up.
For some, life always throws a puzzle to solve even to attain the basic needs. Many factors around us affect us morally, mentally and physically. It is actually a tough challenge to withstand all the ups and downs in life, with the changing scenarios and handling everything, like a hero!!
Men do Cry:
Men do have emotions. They are not alien creatures for not to be subjected to human emotions. As a boy, he is taught not to express his feelings. Some become introverts when puberty hits them and some are so sensitive and emotional but tend to act not. Some are timid and confused but trained to behave bravely. Men have difficulties, but they are not supposed to show their emotions. This is how they are brought up.
When a huge storm of emotions are crushed and closed inside, a man turns out to be something else. He could be harsh, violent, arrogant, careless, cruel whatever. But, inside he is as soft as a woman. A man is like a tender coconut having sweet water inside with a hard outer shell. One can see through him to find the helpless being crying out loud inside, looking for a hug, being with someone they love and asking for help. One should have a broad mind to come forward, without hurting the dignity of the seeker.
Men should break the shell of misguided meaning of masculinity to seek the help of a counsellor for their psychological problems. Bearing the issues for long will only increase their complexities. Sharing them with the right expert shows the way for the solutions.
If the psychological issues like stress, tension, anxiety, depression etc. are neglected for long, they become chronic. These chronic mental illnesses can create numerous problems like mental health issues, physical health issues and social issues also. Every one of those issues has the potential to spoil your life. Neglecting small things could lead to higher levels of depression, which could cost you something you will never be able to imagine. Hence, it is very important to identify your stress.
Identify your Stress
Having too much of pressure build up about something in your mind, leads to stress which can be related to work, home or may be from personal aspects. It could also be the combination of many. Most of the times, it is the people around you who could identify your stress, while it might not be easy for yourself. Let’s go through some of the symptoms which could help you out in tracking your stress.
There are many symptoms with which one can identify stress, such as Psychological, Emotional, Physical, and Behavioral symptoms. Let’s have a look at all of them.
- Depression: Feel down many of the times
- Anxiety: Having a continuous tensed thought running all the time
- Forgetfulness: Memory lapses are observed often
- Distractions: Lack of concentration on any work
- Constant worry: Pondering over something while doing some other thing
- Missing Creativity: Unable to think of something new or of a solution
- Missing Decisiveness: Missing the ability to make confident decisions.
- Getting Sensitive: Unable to handle criticism, getting so tearful always, getting hurt by simple words and negligence by friends and family etc.
- Out of Control: Getting emotional or angry suddenly, feeling defensive, irritated and frustrated, high mood swings and lack of confidence and self-esteem etc.
- Addiction: Increase consumption of alcoholic beverages, smoking, caffeine intakes, doing drugs etc. to compensate inner tension.
- In a Cocoon: Becoming a workaholic, absenteeism, lack of self-concern, social withdrawal, neglecting appearance, no attention towards pleasurable activities, poor time and work management etc.
- Oops: Lying uncharacteristically, getting prone to accidents, brooding, heavy forgetfulness
- Extremes: Becoming too reckless or too nervous, having problems in relationship, Insomnia etc.
There are numerous problems that occur with stress, such as weight loss, weight gain, hyperventilating, panic attacks, constipation or diarrhea, aches, allergies, infections, dizziness, Libido or sexual problems, menstrual problems, hormonal imbalances etc.
Men usually don’t share their personal issues with everyone like women do. If a man has to share something, he should trust the person first and believe that sharing his problem with that person would give him a great solution.
Being a man, self respect and ego are the two sharp edges between which we need to walk. We never go for something at the stake of them. But being in relationships and held responsible for the welfare of the family, a man must face many issues. Problems arise in relationships and marital life because of the lack of understanding. As two people from different backgrounds start living, both have different opinions on everything. To understand each other and to live in harmony, patience is what you need. But there are many external and internal factors that put a test to our patience.
Be it wife at home or boss at office, all the problematic things come to a soothing halt only when they are addressed about. Open up and speak out the issues you are facing. When things don’t seem to work out in spite of your best efforts, try to seek a professional help. A good psychological counselor can be your relationship counselor, your work place counselor and your stress buster.
We at Wellness Hub provide Counselling for Men to help them handle challenges in life by making them mentally strong by teaching them coping mechanisms.
Stress, tension, anxiety, depression, peer pressure, physical challenges etc. can be handled easily with the help of some techniques to make your life easier. Online counselling sessions help you to login from anywhere to get support from your counselors.