You hear your child babble, squeal, hum, or make little \u201cah!\u201d sounds all day long. They might even use a few early word-like sounds in the right moments. But when it comes to pointing\u2014or showing you something they found you\u2019re not seeing much of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And that can feel surprisingly unsettling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Many parents describe it as confusing: \u201cThey clearly want to communicate; so why aren\u2019t they pointing?\u201d It can also be a comparison trap, especially if you\u2019ve seen other children point dramatically at dogs, airplanes, and snacks like tiny tour guides.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If this is where you are, it helps to know two reassuring things: first, this combination skill (gesture + sound) often develops in uneven pieces as part of early communication and communication development. Second, pointing isn\u2019t something children \u201cperform\u201d on demand\u2014it tends to grow out of shared attention, comfort, and motivation to include you in what they notice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This article will help you understand what\u2019s going on, what to look for, and how to create more natural \u201clook, show, share\u201d moments without pressure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s easy to assume pointing is a simple add-on: your child already has sounds, so pointing should be next. But in real life, these skills don\u2019t always line up neatly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sounds can come early because they\u2019re internally rewarding. Many children vocalize while they play, explore, or move almost like they\u2019re narrating their own experience. Pointing, on the other hand, is more socially \u201coutward.\u201d It\u2019s not just about noticing something; it\u2019s about thinking, \u201cI want you, to notice this too.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s a big idea for a little person.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Pointing and showing usually grow from a few building blocks that develop over time: noticing something interesting, realizing another person can share that moment, and feeling motivated to pull them into it. If any one of those pieces is still emerging, you may see lots of sounds without many gestures. This doesn\u2019t mean your child isn\u2019t connected to you. It often means they\u2019re still learning how to invite you into what they\u2019re already experiencing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Also read: My Child Points but Doesn\u2019t Make Sounds Is That Okay?<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n The goal isn\u2019t \u201cpointing perfectly.\u201d The heart of this stage is combining a gesture with a sound to communicate an intention. For you, that might look like your child reaching while vocalizing, pointing while making a sound, or holding up an object with an excited \u201cah!\u201d. It can also include early proto-words paired with gestures those almost-words that show up before clear speech and often appear during speech delay stages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When gesture and sound come together, something lovely happens: your child starts to feel how powerful communication can be. They learn, \u201cWhen I show you what I mean, you understand me.\u201d That feeling of being understood is often what makes children want to communicate more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And for parents, these moments can feel like a little window opening more connection, more back-and-forth, more shared joy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut my child doesn\u2019t point\u201d what does count?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Many parents imagine pointing as a straight index finger extended toward an object across the room. But early gestures can be much quieter, and they still matter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You might notice your child:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n These are all part of the same communication pathway. Sometimes pointing arrives after these earlier \u201calmost-gestures\u201d have had time to grow. If your child is vocal and expressive, you already have something important to build on: they\u2019re showing interest and energy. The next step is helping that energy land in shared moments with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When parents feel worried, it\u2019s natural to try to \u201cteach pointing.\u201d You might find yourself saying, \u201cPoint! Show me!\u201d or gently taking their hand to form a point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Some children tolerate that. Many don\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The reason is simple: pointing works best when it\u2019s your child\u2019s idea. If it becomes a performance, children can pull back, get frustrated, or rely on you to do the gesture for them. And then the moment becomes about getting it \u201cright,\u201d rather than connecting. A calmer, more effective mindset is: \u201cHow can I make it easy and worth it, for my child to include me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s where shared attention and motivation come in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You don\u2019t need special toys or a formal practice time. The most meaningful opportunities usually show up in routines that already matter to your child, like having snacks, getting dressed, bath time, going outside, books, and favorite play. The common thread is that your child notices something or wants something, and you create a small pause where they have a reason to gesture and a reason to add a sound.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example, if your child reaches for something they want, your warm, interested response (\u201cOh you want that!\u201d) can make the moment feel like a conversation instead of a transaction. If they vocalize, you can treat that sound as meaningful communication, not just noise. When children feel their attempts \u201cwork,\u201d they tend to repeat them and gradually add more. These kinds of responsive interactions are commonly used in parent coaching and speech therapy for kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The same idea applies to showing. If your child picks up a toy, you can be the kind of audience that makes showing feel rewarding: noticing, reacting, and sharing their excitement. Over time, many children start to bring things closer, hold them up longer, or look back and forth between the object and your face, tiny signs that they\u2019re learning to include you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Books can also be a gentle place for this skill, because pictures naturally invite pointing. Some children won\u2019t point right away, but they may tap, pat, or hover a hand over a page while vocalizing. That still counts as \u201cI\u2019m talking about this.\u201d And in playful routines like bubbles, wind-up toys, or anything with a \u201cwait\u2026 then WOW!\u201d feeling children often become more motivated to reach, point, or show while making sounds. The anticipation itself can pull communication forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Parents often expect a sudden switch: one day their child doesn\u2019t point, the next day they do. More commonly, progress shows up as a series of small shifts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You might notice:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your child reaches more clearly while vocalizing, rather than silently grabbing. They start showing you objects for a second longer. They look at you after making a sound, as if checking whether you understood. They begin to pair an excited \u201cah!\u201d with holding something up. They seem more engaged in routines because they can express their intentions. These are meaningful steps. They\u2019re signs your child is learning the back-and-forth nature of communication,\u201cI do something, you respond, and we share the moment.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s the foundation for so much that comes next.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes parents don\u2019t just want reassurance, they want clarity. If you feel unsure how to read your child\u2019s attempts, or you\u2019re not seeing more shared moments over time, it can be helpful to get guidance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Support doesn\u2019t have to be a big, heavy step. Some families like having a simple plan and a clear goal to focus on, especially when they\u2019re juggling a lot. Speech and Autism therapy apps like BASICS can help parents understand communication goals (like combining gestures with sounds) and find everyday ways to support them through short videos and routine-based ideas without turning home life into \u201ctherapy time.\u201d Guidance from a speech therapy professional can also help you decide whether a developmental screening would be useful to rule out communication delays or autism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Reaching out for support isn\u2019t a sign that something is wrong. It\u2019s often just a way to feel more confident and less alone in what you\u2019re noticing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If your child makes lots of sounds but doesn\u2019t point yet, you\u2019re not behind, and you\u2019re not failing. You\u2019re watching a skill that grows through connection not correction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your child is already communicating in the way they can right now. With time, warm responses, and more chances to share attention around interesting things, many children begin to add the missing piece: the gesture that says, \u201cCome see this with me.\u201d This kind of progress is a natural part of early childhood development and often supported through simple speech therapy strategies at home. And when that happens, when a reach meets a sound, or a little \u201cah!\u201d comes with a show it\u2019s not just a milestone. It\u2019s a moment of a relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Those moments add up. And you\u2019re already creating them by being the parent who notices.<\/p>\n\n\n\nWhat this skill really is: \u201cgesture + sound\u201d as shared communication<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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Why pressure often backfires even when it\u2019s well-meaning<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Creating more \u201clook, show, share\u201d moments in everyday life<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
What progress tends to look like before pointing is obvious<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
When it\u2019s worth getting extra support without assuming the worst<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
A calming reminder for parents<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
About the Author:<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Anuradha Karanam<\/a><\/h3>\n\n\n\n