We sometimes come across some people who cannot say it out what’s going on in their minds. If you are one of them, don’t worry, you are not alone! There are many out there who chose to keep silent though lava of words is running in their head. Choosing silence over words may be good in some situations but it’s not when you have something to say and when that you should say it out. There could be many reasons why you are unable to open up. But shutting yourself off is no good for you. Try to explore the reasons behind your silence and find out if it is really necessary to be silent. If you have numerous thoughts and inhibitions in your head running all over while your ego is being a big hurdle in your way, it is highly recommended talking to an expert about this. Meeting a counselor who can show you a better way to come out of it and be on your own helps you to go ahead in your life without being a slave of your emotions.
Emotions are a part of us. Denying them or containing them makes it difficult for us to live free. They bother us to a large extent and make us suffer all the time. If you are unable to vent them out, at least in parts, it would cause great damage to both your mental peace and also to your relationships. The process of venting out our emotions in their raw nature, when we are feeling intensely, can be called as Emotional Catharsis. People think that such an intense expression of emotions is dangerous, which is actually not true. Releasing emotions is very liberating and feels a great burden off your head.
Reasons Could be Many
There could be many reasons why some people cannot open up. Though it feels good to vent your emotions out, for that, you first need to solve your inhibitions. Some of them are like the below ones which bring such an outcome.
For many people, the biggest question would be like, “What if”. People find it difficult to speak on certain things as they are afraid to face the consequences of what they had to encounter. The fear of “what happens next” makes them go dumb on talking about the issues. We can understand that this is the main reason why children don’t tell their parents when they spoil something.
It is true that what happens during your childhood has a profound and lasting impact on the rest of your life. For example, when you have siblings, it is possible that sometimes you are over-shadowed by them. Or, if you are a single child, you might have grown up keeping everything to yourselves. When some children learn to repress their emotions either from the parents or from their environment, or if they use the technique of repression as a tool to deal with their emotional issues during childhood, their personalities turn to be so when they grow.
Another important influence on your personality is created by the place you live in. If being open is not what the culture or society you live in supports, it is obvious that you chose to repress your emotions. Also, if everyone around you expects you to behave in a welcoming way, objecting nothing and being pleasant all the time, you won’t find a way to vent your emotions as you strive to be in their good books always. It is because, you know that once you cross their “decent limits” by letting your emotions out, they would consider you bad, which you don’t want to happen.
We all have someone in our past, which we can relate to broken trust. Even though it is long gone, we carry that feeling to our new relationships and friendships we make and let them affect our current relationships. This happens with many of us. When a person gets hurt in the previous relationship or marriage, they are less likely to go for the second relationship, unless they have a piece of expert advice or strong support.
Some people don’t want themselves to be revealed. As they want that cover and don’t want people to see them truly, they maintain that withdrawn nature. But such people know when to open up as they choose to be so but are not like that according to their personality. Also, people who don’t like themselves and who have low confidence don’t want to get exposed. They try to be away from expressing themselves as they are too unwilling to validate their emotions.
Emotional experiences are how we relate to the world. They are actually a part of our experience with our surroundings and other people. Emotions are the ones that make us humane, give us different experiences ranging from most sad ones to the most joyful ones. Holding those emotions for long may affect your mental health to a great extent. It is needed to vent them through our expressions, either verbally or non-verbally. If no such attempt is made, especially for the negative emotions to let go, they make us more suffocated. Though we have been stronger for a long time, when we get time to break out, emotional catharsis happens. But that emotional weight that we have been carrying all this while burdens us and drains us. So, it is better to express ourselves, whenever we can.
Are you facing trouble expressing your thoughts? Are you suffering because of those emotional disturbances? Our expert psychologists are here to help you. Wellness hub has a curated list of experienced psychologists who are friendly, empathetic, and non-judgmental. Log on to Wellness hub and book an appointment, today.