“C’ mon, Be a Man!! Say it straight!!” You must have heard this numerous times. Just let those illusions go off that a man has to be straight on the face without considering a lady’s emotions. No way, you need not be harsh!! But who said that saying a NO makes you sound harsh or rude? Of course, it doesn’t.
Well, marriage is no game. It’s a strong bond that gets stronger with healthy two-way communication. Communicating your feelings, thoughts, and ideas could also include negating, bargaining and convincing. Yes, of course, you are not here to be only nice to each other, but also to be open and welcome all the kinds of feelings. By the way, saying that you love her and care her every time, could have her love you more and respect your feelings more.
How to Say a NO to Her?
From the start, it is always better to maintain boundaries. She should know that you should not be disturbed or questioned beyond a certain point. Otherwise, the relation could one day get any worse. Boundaries are essential for any healthy relationship. For more convenience, let her know that she too has some personal boundaries in which you won’t enter. It is always this safe edge that makes relationships stable.
But, there can be times when wives take their husband’s friendly nature as granted and wish to cross some boundaries out of thrill, like buying something very expensive unnecessarily or just making trips with friends too frequently or being very liberal with friends and granting too much of freedom for them, that could affect your relationship. Whenever you feel that you are being taken for granted in any relationship, just back off a little, without any kind of drama, so that the other person will step forward and move towards you. Do this in your convenient way, without any mess, like a pro!! Remember, this is also a kind of saying NO!!!
Tips that Say No to Your Wife
Saying a No might seem like taking a negative stance, but it is actually good for your relationship and your personal life too. Some have a very hard time voicing their opinions or needs altogether.
There are certain tips which can be followed to make it a peaceful NO, without any drama or any mess. Let’s just have a walkthrough.
- Sympathize With a Soft Tone: Say how you feel sorry for not making it happen. Letting someone know that you sympathize with their request, but can’t grant their wish, will give a soft blow rather than saying a No straight away, like a tight slap on the face.
- Go With Flowers: Surprise her with something that she could be pleased to see and then reveal it slowly that you are giving her a negative answer. She will obviously think before reacting in a serious tone.
- Say it ASAP: If you know that your NO would upset her, say it as early as you can. Don’t drag on by counting numbers or crossing your fingers and wishing for a good time to blow it out. Because such a delay might cause expectations to pile up and can make the upset even worse.
- Sit and Hug: While denying, put it simply and convey how bad you feel to convey it, in a smooth way, with a hug. You may probably say it in a cute way that she could not resist but put a pout out!!
- Consolation Prizes Could Win the Hearts: This may sometimes do miracles!! Offer a consolation gift to your wife, wrapping up with nice words. For example, say “I can’t get you that gold necklace this time, but can gift you a nice dress.”
- Put Your Clever Foot: This is the most tactful and 100% guaranteed one to give great results. Say your No in a clever way. Convince her with your tact. For example, “I know you liked the 30k saree, but this design and color suits you very much and makes you look much younger and beautiful to me” would make her fall for that lower cost saree, though you are negating here. Remember, a lady can never say a NO to a compliment!!
- Concentrate to Know How to Negate: Concentrate and listen carefully to what your partner is saying, but don’t be just physically present, or just don’t listen only to negate. Remember that your reason also matters the most!!
While remaining polite in your speech, be firm with your negation. It adds a sense of self-esteem to you. It is always necessary to say a NO when you know that it is not at all alright to say a Yes!!
How to Handle Your Drama Queen?
When your wife gets too aggressive, too emotional and displays too much of drama when you have to say a No, just be calm. Don’t react immediately. Though she provokes you, stick to stay calm and don’t say anything offensive but a strict No, once the steam goes off. Say it as simply as you can by maintaining a dead silence prior to it. Our silence, without any expression, creates an impact to be heard when someone is fuming. Then the words that we say become really important. Say your NO and the reason too, if you wish to.
Rather than simply saying it, if you try to give it a comment like, “Don’t get too offensive” or “Please calm down” or “I think you are taking it too personally.” Or maybe “Don’t be too sensitive” could only make the situations worse. If you expect to calm down the things and you say these, remember that you are only adding fuel to the fire. It’s always better to stay calm and say it with minimum words, without making a comment on what others are being, because those phrases could be demeaning to her. In the same way, acting as nothing happened and showing no reaction could sound belittling to her which would, in turn, make the things worse.
From the Initial Days Itself…
Most people have a misconception that boundaries are set by telling people what their limits are. But boundaries are actually the ones that you should create within yourself so that you define the other person where you want them to be. Don’t mess with your relationship in the first place. In some relationships, if a partner is demanding, the other feels oppressed, or if one is a caregiver the other behaves with no emotions at all. Belittling your partner should never be your objective. In the same way, giving up your privacy is also a mistake.
When such differences make you struggle inside, the flow of love between the two hearts is blocked by these struggles. But when you are committed to maintain boundaries, understand them, preserve equality and mutual satisfaction you are more likely to create a better partnership, which would eventually improve respect for each other. If you are expecting some emotional support and professional help in making your relationships better, you are welcome. Book an appointment, today.